If you were to come up with a dessert that best encapsulated the TOTES NOT STAGED EVEN A LITTLE BIT photos of Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston engaging in TOTALLY REAL NOT AT ALL FANCIED UP FOR THE CAMERAS human interaction, what would it be? No, your own vomit coated in ganache or a dog-eared paperback Nicholas Sparks book with sprinkles on it does not count.
Would it be a fucking swan covered in whipped cream? Goddamn of course it would. And it was.
According to Us Weekly, some Hiddleswiftery went down in a big bad sexy-ass way, over some pastry swan creation. A crois-swan if you will, and you shouldn’t. Just a crumbly pastry covered in sugar and cream. That’s basically how I feel about these two. GAZE AT THEIR SEX DESSERT.
The pair couldn’t keep their hands off each other either. “They were interlacing their fingers across the table and laughing,” the onlooker said, noting that they ordered the restaurant’s famous Avondale Swan pastry with whipped cream and fudge.
Only famous people being described through
their PR management sources “can’t keep their hands off each other” at dinner. The rest of us are not there to have interlocked fingerholding over bird cake.
Also, they were giggling at her phone, which means they were searching the #Hiddleswift tag and laughing as Calvin Harris had an e-hissy fit.
“Tom and Taylor were … in the back left booth drinking white wine,” an eyewitness tells Us Weekly. “They were very cute, a lot of laughing, giggling, as she showed him texts and photos on her phone.”
Celebrity love has gotten weird and dumb this year. What happened to anyone’s dignity? SWAN PASTRY.