Sometimes in life, people are not happy with how they look. Sometimes, they choose to get plastic surgery to look different. Sometimes they do this to look like celebrities. One enterprising gentleman, songwriter Toby Sheldon, decided to look like Justin Bieber. And he did so flawlessly, making a decision that will in no way be regrettable at any point in the future.
I know you are probably confused about which one is Justin and which one is Toby. I totally understand. It’s pretty hard.
This is pretty much the plastic surgery version of those Pinterest fails. Only instead of food, it’s your goddamn face.
Congratulations, Toby. You got $100,000 worth of plastic surgery to look like the world’s most awkward high school sophomore. He looks like a human blackboard erection. He looks like he got caught eating the paste. He looks like everyone who asks the most annoying questions at Comic Con, the really long, inane ones the panelists have to pretend to answer before delightedly fleeing to the next question. What he does not look like is Justin Bieber. What he doesn’t not look like is actress Audrey Wasilewski.
And it would seem that the easiest thing to get right would be the hair, and he couldn’t even land that. He looks like Angus. He looks like Kerri Strug.
To you, Toby Sheldon, and your quality life decisions, we salute you. I look forward to checking back in with you later when you’ve gone full Carrot Top.