The internet has a long memory (but a surprisingly short attention span), which is bad news for Dennis Miller, who promised an unspecified number of “brutally mean” jokes about Michelle Wolf by tomorrow, Wednesday, May 2nd, 2018. Lovers of jokes across the land are eagerly awaiting the moment they wake up tomorrow to find a cornucopia of clever and timely jokes scattered around the Miller Tree (it’s like a Christmas tree but with more bark and is decorated with faux outrage instead of tinsel). People are so excited in fact, that an official countdown clock has been set up to mark each agonizing second that passes before Jolly Old St. Miller bestows us with his wit and wisdom.
As we wait, a festive holiday air permeates Twitter.
Happy Dennis Miller Has Finished His Jokes About Michelle Wolf Eve everyone!— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) May 1, 2018
It's almost time, kids. The clock is ticking. Be in front of your Twitter page for the Dennis Miller joke-a-thon, followed by the Big Giveaway. Don't miss it. And don't forget to wear your masks. The clock is ticking. It's almost time.— Jimmy Pardo (@jimmypardo) May 1, 2018
Ok, so maybe it’ll be more like Halloween. The beauty of it is, we don’t know what to expect! All we can do is hope and pray we’ve been good enough these past *checks clock* three days (seriously, the WHCD was only 3 days ago?!) to deserve a stocking (or pillowcase, depending on which holiday analogy you prefer) full of Dennis’s best Michelle Wolf zingers. If we were bad, we’ll get a lump of coal (or a box of raisins, see above) and Michelle gets to live out the rest of her days never knowing what Dennis Miller really thinks.
But for now…