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Satan's Shadow Eddie Redmayne Does Impossibly Expensive Good Deeds

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | January 6, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | January 6, 2016 |

Eddie Redmayne is Satan’s Shadow, this is a known fact through the world, except in Brazil where they are under the mistaken belief that Cintia Dicker is the Shadow of the Devil.


As the Prince of Darkness’s human penumbra, Eddie Redmayne travels the world doing Beezle’s dirty bidding, like taking roles in Fantastic Beasts (he’s playing the most fantastic of the beasts) and Balem Abrasax in Jupiter Ascending when everyone knows that Balem Abrasax is Latin for Satan’s Anal Wart.


Yes, Redmayne, we know your filthy little lying secret. However, Redmayne also uses the endless supply of gold doubloons that the Devil-man pays him to do what he describes as good deeds when everyone knows that a deed can’t be good if you tell everyone about it. But that’s what Ed is doing, running around and telling all the dirty lad magazines that he’s paying the rent of struggling actors in London so that they will one day owe him evil favors.

“The greatest privilege that I had was that my parents lived in London, so when I was out of university and out of work for a year, working in a pub, I didn’t pay rent. And I get letters from people trying to go to drama school and needing to pay their rent. And so that’s something I occasionally do. It’s impossibly expensive to live in London.”

Rents apparently run as high as $4000 a month in London, which converts into something like 6000 pounds of flesh, which is of course the Devil’s currency. What Redmayne does not mention, however, is that if the drama student fails out, he swallows the soul of the failing student, which keeps his hair looking crimson and youthful and his skin translucent.

via THR

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