Ew, Did Sarah Ferguson Really Have an Affair With Diddy?

Sarah Ferguson is still MIA following the stripping of her royal title and the arrest of her ex-husband, the creep formerly known as Prince Andrew. She was kicked out of the home she shared with Andy and nobody is entirely sure where she is now. There were rumours that she was shacked up in some obscenely expensive spa in Switzerland, or that one of her daughters was housing her (something neither of their spouses were allegedly thrilled about.) Fergie used to be known as the comeback queen, but it seems unlikely that she’ll find a way back into the publics’ hearts after all of her suck-up emails to Jeffrey Epstein were revealed. How can things possibly get worse? Well, as Mean Girls once famously said, the limit does not exist.

According to one writer, Fergie had a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with Sean Combs, the rapper and sex criminal best known as Diddy. In an excerpt published in the Daily Mail, writer Andrew Lownie claims that the pair were close and had intimate relations regularly. There’s certainly a lot of photos of the pair hanging out or being at the same parties. Ferguson took her then-teenage daughters to some of these events. Lownie claims that Ferguson and Combs would meet in “luxurious hotels”, including one that cost over £50,000 a night.

Lownie is the biographer who wrote the exceedingly juicy Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York. He has spent the past year keeping his foot on the necks of Andy and Fergie. He’s given regular updates that allegedly reveal the true depths of the pair’s stupidity and depravity. Given that royal biographies and the press cycle that dominates coverage of the Windsors is typically glowing and uncritical, it’s notable just how much Lownie hates this couple, and how ahead of the curve he was in doing so. His latest revelation, however? There are certainly reasons to be sceptical, although Lownie stands by it and his sources, even after a ‘source’ close to Ferguson went to The Sun to deny it.

According to AirMail, Ferguson is fielding offers to do a tell-all interview with a reasonably sympathetic source. One American network is said to have offered her $1.7 million to blab. She certainly needs the money — this is the same woman who ran up a £4 million overdraft with her bank — but one wonders if she’s willing to risk the public reputation of her daughters, whose place in the royal family is already precarious thanks to their parents. Also, let’s be honest, any interview she gives would be a train-wreck that would rival the disastrous Newsnight tell-all Andrew did. How would she try to spin sympathy for herself when we have the emails of her begging Jeffrey Epstein to marry her? And pleading for his forgiveness after she called him a paedophile in public?

I think she’s hoping that King Charles will try to pay her off if the whispers of her giving a potentially damaging interview grow loud enough, and I doubt he’ll acquiesce to her desperation. You know what would help to remove the sting of her threat to damage the monarchy? Abolishing the monarchy. Just saying.