I grew up in the South during a time in which beating your child was not frowned upon. Before my parents divorced, we got the crap beat out of us on the regular: Paddles, belts, hands, sticks we had to choose from trees ourselves (they were called switches. I don’t know why). This is back when corporal punishment was still a thing, and our vice principals would spank the mess out of us and teachers would wash our mouths out with literal soap for using profanities. My parents immediately stopped hitting us after the divorce, however, because I assume they didn’t want it to come up in a custody hearing and they also liked to compete for their children’s affection. Divorce was the best thing that happened to my family.
Of course, beating children isn’t a thing anymore. (Just ask Adrian Peterson). I didn’t even think comedians could get away with “jokes” about beating kids anymore, but what the hell does Roseanne Barr care? She’s already been canceled, by which I mean: She is appearing in a stand-up special that is being promoted during the Super Bowl. The special will air on Fox Nation the day after the Super Bowl, a niche streaming site for Fox News viewers who can’t enough of Greg Gutfield.
The Wrap has obtained a clip from the special, and woo boy. It’s not just the content, it’s the muted audience. It’s a friendly audience, and still: You can hear crickets, and even the crickets are like, “Yikes.”
Part of that might be the discomfort even most conservatives probably feel about beating their kids. This joke might have worked in 1984 but in 2023? In the bit, Barr is mocking the “progressive parenting” of her gay siblings, who count to five if their children misbehave. Their kids, she says, can get away with anything.
“I’m there on top of my kids — my kids can’t get away with anything that I know about,” Barr added. “She’s like, ‘I’m going to count to five,’ like that’s some big threat … I’m like, ‘You’ve got to hit these bitches.’”
“You’ve got to hit your kids,” she says. “If you want ‘em to do right, you got to hit them. I have to say that. We need to hit them more.” She also complains that it has fallen on her to hit the kids of moms who spend too much time in the grocery store taking pictures of their asses for Instagram.
And this is the clip they’re using to promote the show. Real cutting-edge humor there, Roseanne. Watch out, Jerrod Carmichael.
Source: The Wrap