Reese Witherspoon Says She's Not Being Paid to Shill For AI

Well, the backlash to Reese Witherspoon’s AI support was swift. People were not excited about the prospect of the one-time crypto and NFT evangelist trying to sell her fans on the magic of the plagiarism machine and its environmental calamities. There are only so many ways you can spin something as a girlboss advancement before all the women in the room leave. Many, understandably, wondered if Witherspoon was about to announce a partnership with an AI company, as she had once done with NFTs. Well, she claims that’s not true. She’s just in it for the love of the game.

In a vaguely passive-aggressive Instagram Story, Witherspoon addressed the backlash, writing:

“Well, I guess my AI post got people talking [shocked emoji].

To be clear, no one is paying me to talk about this. I’m just a curious human. My kids are learning about AI tools, I know a lot of founders who are vibe coding, and I hear about people using AI in EVERY sector of business. But I want to acknowledge people’s concerns, they are valid. I’m aware of the impact this could have on jobs across so many industries. I understand environmental concerns. I care deeply about local communities. And I have concerns about impending AGI.

I don’t believe computers should replace humanity. I’m planning on learning as much as possible so that I’m educated about this technological revolution. If you want to learn with me, great, let’s do this! If you don’t, that’s okay too.”

She sees you, She hears you. She is learning. And so on. We know this tech bro apology tour rhetoric.

Come on, Reese. You know why people were mad at you. You know that people are still confused as to how you went all in on crypto and NFTs, told us it was an important feminist advancement and an inevitability we had to embrace, then went all quiet once the market crashed and you’d made your millions. You kept using the same lines about NFTs as you did with AI: how it’s inevitable, how we have to know how to use it lest we be left behind, and how it was important for women to be involved because [insert vague reason here.]

And stop trying to spin this as, oh, I’m just a smol bean who wants her friends to join her on this mission of learning. You’re too rich and too ambitious to play that card. We’re not your friends. You’re not a naïve dolt who wants her pals to help her learn. You know exactly why we hate AI, why we’re afraid of it on a social and environmental level, and why women have no patience for you repeating this cycle. We know we have nothing to learn from you stringing along your fans then shilling them a broken tech that will only bring profits to you.