Today in Things You Shouldn't Throw On-Stage at Concerts: Your Mother's Ashes

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | June 27, 2023 |

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | June 27, 2023 |

It’s been a tough time for musicians lately in terms of their ability to perform at concerts without being waylaid by absolute jackassery from their own so-called ‘fans.’ Bebe Rexha was left in need of stitches after a creep threw his phone at her face during a gig, which he claimed he did because he thought it would be funny, before pulling back on his own cruelty once they began to press charges. Ava Max received a scratch on her cornea when another ‘fan’ ran onto the stage and slapped her in the face (he said he just wanted to give her his number, which made the whole affair even grosser.) Now, Pink is being forced to contend with over-zealous fans of a new kind. Well, at least the projectile this time didn’t hurt her. But it gets worse.

While performing at Hyde Park in London, someone flung a plastic bag onto the stage while she sang ‘Just Like a Pill’ that contained some greyish residue. Pink then hesitantly picked it up, then asked the fan, ‘This is your mum?’ Yup, that’s a person in that baggie. A deceased person. Their ashes. Pink handled this moment about as tastefully as one could have, saying, ‘I don’t know how to feel about this’, before putting the bag down and finishing the song.

Someone gave their Mothers ashes to Pink. I need yall to have boundaries like girl what?! 😭😂 pic.twitter.com/OkL4762fEs

— Andrew (@AsAndrewSpeaks) June 26, 2023

I definitely know how to feel about this: That was a major overstep in boundaries and an extremely unfair thing to put on a celebrity while thousands of people watched.

Perhaps this is a gag, which would only make the moment somewhat better, but let’s take it at face value: Someone thought it was acceptable to divvy up their mother’s ashes, bag it like a school lunch, then fling it on stage during a concert for a musician to pick up and … this is where I get lost. What was their intention? Did they want Pink to take the ashes home? Bless them? Pour them onto the unsuspecting audience or the stage itself, which would later be cleaned up by the crew? Did she want a selfie from Pink with the ashes?

Grief is hard and can make you disconnect from the real world. You find ways to cope with your loss. You turn to the things you loved with that person and experience something akin to a connection. I get that. What I don’t get is the astonishing entitlement to think a celebrity is an acceptable conduit for you to do so. Again, this was HER MOTHER’S ASHES. And that was Pink! What were you thinking?!

I’ve talked a lot about the curious entitlement of overzealous fandoms on this site, from tinhat shippers who harass the partners of celebrities they love to conspiracies regarding fake pregnancies to casual stalking as normalized by cesspools like DeuxMoi. The barriers between celebrity and fan have seldom been more liminal than they are now, and it doesn’t seem in danger of slowing down. We’re encouraged to form connections with the people and things we love. That’s normal. Utterly dehumanizing them to the point where you think it’s your right to fling the remains of your deceased relatives at a singer is, quite clearly, not.

This feels like a parody of stan behaviour. The bar has gotten lower. Where else can it go? I shudder to think.