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Who's That Hot Leprechaun From 'American Gods'?

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | May 8, 2017 |

By Emily Cutler | Celebrity | May 8, 2017 |


Those of us smart/lucky enough to have watched the first episode of American Gods walked away with more than a few questions. What did that opening sequence mean? What’s Mr. Wednesday’s overall plan? And most importantly: WHO’S THE SMOKING HOT LEPRECHAUN WHO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SHADOW MOON? You know, this guy?

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The answer is Pablo Schreiber, and what do you mean you don’t know who Pablo Schreiber is?! He’s been weird-hotting it up for the last decade and a half. So let’s get some of the bad news out of the way.

He is/was Pornstache.

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I can’t remember exactly where the last season of Orange Is The New Black left him, but Pablo Schreiber is, in fact, rapey-prison guard George “Pornstache” Mendez. Don’t let that cloud your judgement too much.

He also apparently played a serial killer/Olivia Benson-stalker on Law & Order: SVU, but I stopped watching that show when the novelty of Ice-T as a cop wore off so I’m unaffected by whatever’s going on here.

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Got all that bad stuff? Great! Let’s move onto the hotter part of the weird-hot combo. He played an ambiguously-Eastern-European drug dealer during the later, bad parts of Weeds.

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Which means, yep, he absolutely slept with Nancy.

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Which was not his first role as as strangely alluring criminal. You might remember him as Nick Sobotka from season two of The Wire.

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Or at least you would have had that not been the shitty docks season of The Wire, and were Nick not wildly overshadowed by his cousin Ziggy.

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So when would you have seen Pablo just being flat out hot? For starters, in the Hot Guy Smorgasbord that was 13 Hours. See?

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Yeah, you see hot Jom Halpinski? Look just to his left. Army Hot Pablo Schreiber.

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Mmmm-hmmm.

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Also, you might have noticed him being Hot Real Life Brother of Liev?

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Or just in general, him walking around with a hot face on him?

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So, of course, enjoy your new ogle-bait. But just remember, Pablo Schreiber is more than just a hot face.

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He’s hot in a weird way.