Michelle And The Amazing Technicolor Dream Boots
I’ve been listening to Michelle Obama narrate her memoir Becoming over the past few weeks and have been moved to tears on several occasions. I find her intelligence, charm, and plain-old common decency deeply moving. So the fact that Michelle can make me cry isn’t really all that surprising. However, it was surprising to learn that Michelle can also make me gag. Michelle made her last stop of 2018 on her book tour at Barclays center in Brooklyn. There, she joined her host, Sarah Jessica Parker, wearing the most magical pair of boots I have ever seen. Michelle, dressed in a sumptuous yellow Balenciaga dress, strutted out from behind the curtain to “Girl On Fire” by Alicia Keys, her legs aflame in a pair of iridescent, metallic gold, Knife over-the-knee booties, also by Balenciaga. Omama!
Here’s Michelle’s gag worthy lewk.
Now, I could never get away with wearing a pair of boots like that. First of all, I couldn’t afford them. They retail for about $4,000. My garbage disposal has been making a bad sound for a couple of months now but it’s still technically working so… I’m sure you get the picture. My boot budget is currently zero dollars and 12 cents. Nevertheless, I desperately wanted a pair as soon as I saw them. I was mesmerized, as if by witchcraft.
Second of all, those wouldn’t make it past my calves. Have you ever seen a python eat a goat? I’m sure you get the picture.
Third of all, what would I even wear them with? The occasions I have for fancy footwear are limited to my husband’s annual office holiday party and I’ve worn the same pair of flats to that 5 years running. And slits and short skirts are simply not in my wheelhouse. My undergarments are too substantial for all that. No, I need to let the idea of me, in Michelle’s boots, remain a wild, delicious fantasy.
And I’m not the only one who’s smitten.
Michelle Obama walking on stage in metallic glittery thigh high boots is the energy I want to have going into 2019 pic.twitter.com/H8XuJAcbn2— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) December 20, 2018
When I die, please project these blessed images of Michelle Obama's boots on my tombstone pic.twitter.com/hoGRqcj77m— Andrea González-Ramírez (@andreagonram) December 20, 2018
I want Michelle Obama to kick me in the face in these boots pic.twitter.com/ilsh5p4KiF— Matt (@dogzaddy) December 20, 2018
Michelle Obama in these Balenciaga boots is me at my final form.— Ayanna James Kimani (@AyannaJKimani) December 20, 2018
And you know what she did after making that entrance, in those boots? She sat down and had a meaningful, in-depth conversation about a variety of issues facing our nation. THESE boots are made for talkin’, folks. So please, may God or whatever, bless Michelle Obama for all that she’s done for our nation and for kinky boot enthusiasts the world over. Amen.
This made my heart clench pic.twitter.com/vQnBQPGVGF— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) December 18, 2018
She really does care, do you?
Header Image Source: Getty Images