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Jesus Christ, Meghan, Just Trademark Your Dad's Name Already, You Know You Want To

By Mike Redmond | Celebrity | May 28, 2019 |

By Mike Redmond | Celebrity | May 28, 2019 |


During a campaign stop in Iowa over the weekend, Senator Amy Klobuchar shared a poignant anecdote about a late friend and colleague, as politicians often do. By every measure, it should’ve been a mundane turn of events, but if you’re even slightly familiar with the particular senator that Klobuchar mentioned, you can see the trainwreck coming a mile away.

Via NBC News:

Klobuchar, D-Minn., recounted a story in Iowa this weekend in which the Sen. McCain, her longtime colleague in Washington, seemed to compare President Donald Trump to various authoritarian leaders.

“The arc that we are on, this arc of justice, started the day after that dark inauguration,” Klobuchar said. “The day when I sat on that stage between Bernie and John McCain, and John McCain kept reciting to me names of dictators during that speech, because he knew more than any of us what we were facing as a nation. He understood it. He knew because he knew this man more than any of us did.”

While it was the first time Klobuchar recited that particular anecdote, she has regularly praised McCain in speeches and interviews. The senator visited McCain while he was battling cancer at his Arizona ranch and described him as a “mentor” after his death.

Again, nothing Klobuchar said was outside the norm — except, of course, for the authoritarian Rapey Boss Hogg that’s our current president — and John McCain actually was a vocal critic of Trump albeit while fiercely defending the festering fart-wound of a party that made Trump its king and refuses to hold him accountable. However, invoking John McCain’s name is Meghan McCain’s whole entire bag. It’s literally all she brings to the table, so she’ll be damned if she’s going to let someone mention her father’s name outside the respectful confines of a daytime talk show where she shrieks at her co-hosts at decibels that can explode a pigeon. It’s called decorum, Amy.

Obviously, there’s nothing to be gained from responding to a petulant child like she’s made anything close to a reasonable request — which “Hey, only I can leverage John McCain’s name to make it sound like my words aren’t the shrill rantings of a human blueberry with bad eyeshadow” absolutely is not — but Klobuchar’s campaign issued a statement anyway out of a sense of common decency and respect. In other words, they might as well have spoken a foreign language to Meghan.

Via CNN:

“Senator Klobuchar had a long time friendship with Senator McCain, she has defended him against President Trump’s attacks in the past, and she has deep respect for his family,” Klobuchar’s communications director, Tim Hogan, said in a statement Monday night. “While she was simply sharing a memory, she continues to believe that the best stories about Senator McCain are not about the views he had about President Trump: they’re about McCain’s own valor and heroism.”

Personally, I would’ve gone with, “Senator Klobuchar has the utmost respect for Senator McCain’s family, and she will certainly consider the request of his niece Meghan.” But that’s just one of the many examples of why I should never work for a political campaign. In the meantime, it’s going to be tempting to think that Meghan doesn’t want anyone mentioning her father because it doesn’t take a whole lot of steps to go from John McCain, War Hero to John McCain, the disingenuous dick who really wasn’t that great of a guy. But that would be applying way too much thought to this situation when Occam’s Razor will do just fine.

Meghan McCain clearly believes no one should say John McCain’s name except for Meghan McCain. She probably punches her own mother in the mouth if she brings him up. It’s a f*cking weird, all-consuming obsession that overrides everything in Meghan’s brain. I mean, sh*t, Meghan repeatedly dunks on Trump for disrespecting her dad, and she practically gushed over Klobuchar announcing her presidential run in the middle of a goddamn blizzard. So Klobuchar’s respectful anecdote of how John McCain saw Trump for what he was (but did very little about it) should’ve been right up Meghan’s alley. But, nope, someone made the cardinal sin of using Meghan’s catchphrase without prior written consent.

However, I will add one more layer even though the ownership of John McCain’s name is 99.9% of this entire ordeal: Meghan McCain might talk a big game about hating Trump — and I genuinely believe she does — but Meghan doesn’t really give a f*ck what happens to this country as long as a Republican is in control, no matter who it is. As for how Meghan learned to think that way, have you heard?

She’s John McCain’s daughter.

Header Image Source: Getty