Right off the bat, I want to make it clear that I’m not about to question Megan Fox’s intellect based on her looks or her culpability for the Transformers film franchise. That’d be an asshole thing to do.
What I am going to do is question the full-on batshit beliefs that Megan has spouted over the years. Such as her not-at-all conflicting views that we’re obviously living in the Biblical End Times, but also ancient aliens and leprechauns are real. (Actual things Megan Fox said to Esquire.) So naturally that kind of crazy bled all the way into her new archaeology show Legends of the Lost with Megan Fox. For example, when the star of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows visits Stonehedge, her immediate reaction is to basically say, “Yup, that’s an aural healing chamber, alright. You can tell by the rocks.”
That’s both terrifying that it made to air, and not at all surprising because we’re talking about a woman who once told Chelsea Handler — to her face — that she could sense the ghost of Handler’s aborted baby.
P.S. That baby also teams up with Handler’s late mom to possess a dog, but you know, to check on her. Via Entertainment Weekly:
After some meditation, Fox believes she could detect the presence of a child watching out for the host through her dog, Chunk.
“What I got was that there’s a soul that’s around you, around your dog, that was a child that was conceived at some point — that’s yours, that’s over there with your mother,” said the actress. “And they do sort of watch over you through the dog.”
Yup, please hire that person to do archaeology. Then again, Megan did reveal to the LA Times that her celebrity status has opened doors to powerful, ancient secrets.
It all started, she continues, on the set of 2009’s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” which was partly filmed in Egypt. She and costar Shia LaBeouf were given a tour of of the Great Pyramid of Giza by the Ministry of Antiquities and someone “high-ranking in that field — I will not say who” told the actors that the pyramid was never actually a tomb.
“They presume they may have been some type of energy plant at some point,” says Fox. “The sarcophagus that is in the Great Pyramid was put there by the government for tourism. And that sparked in me an interest in really exposing this sort of thing, because I realized I have access to things I shouldn’t have access to because of what I do for a living.”
Unfortunately, Megan knows our “plebeian minds” could never handle the knowledge she’s learned from tour guides who totally weren’t trying to bang her.
“I think people, in general, are plebeians that are brainwashed by the type of media that they expose themselves to. … People anticipate a shallowness [from me]. They anticipate a self-centeredness and a lack of self-awareness. It doesn’t … matter what I say, or how eloquent a speaker I may be, or how positive my intentions may be. I’m going to be made into what people desire me to be. At this moment, they might desire to exalt me onto a pedestal. But the next? You’re a human sacrifice. The control is not in my hands.”
In a way, Megan Fox is right. Society has pigeonholed her as just another pretty face, but she’s here to let the world know that she has a ravenous mind that’s teeming with curiosity. You probably expect her to come across ancient artifacts and say, “That looks like a magic wand,” with the affect of a Kardashian eating a salad.
But, plebes, you couldn’t be more wrong.
(Please tell me I timed that right.)
Header Image Source: Getty