Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | October 8, 2014
If you were wondering how Louis C.K. spent his day today, the answer is: by being really f*cking weird on Twitter. C.K. doesn’t use Twitter very much; he’ll send out the occasional promotion, and once in a while apologize for his lack of creativity:
I seriously just can't think of anything to tweet. #sorry.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 2, 2014But today, seemingly out of nowhere, he blurted out this moderately intelligible musing:
It really feels like Mars used to be a here that got globally warmed by some very us-y people-things.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014Not a hard and determined theory, mind you. Just an inkling.
I'm not saying I can prove it. I'm saying it feels like it.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014Oh, you’d like further explanation? No problem.
It feels like they left mars on a moon that they pushed out of orbit and rode over here to try to orbit what was earth
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014That's the only way you could move billions of people-y types. But their moon crashed into pre-earth and everyone died.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014What was left turned into here and our moon and got seeded by marsian corpse DNA. And later we'll use our moon to go back.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014That's what it feels like anyway.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014And it feels like we are gonna keep bopping around on moons til we realize the whole solar system is actually a spaceship.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014The sun is the engine and if you wait til it all lines up just right and you push "go" you can ride it to a bigger far place.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014I would really like to emphasize that these are not opinions or theories. It's just a feeling I have.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014Cool theory, bro. Have any more?
Also I feel like I know the origin of the basic despair that we all feel in the pit of our being, that one thing we all share.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014Awesome.
We used to be one single thing that was nowhere. The Big Bang happened, sending us, which used to be a "me" hurtling outward.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014And that basic sad despair inside is us going "aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" Through space. We're like on the 20'th "a"
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014If you go "aaaaa!" For a jiblion years you stop even hearing yourself say it. Anyway that's just how it feels sometimes.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014And despite the fact that this reads like every stoned college kid’s 3 a.m. Taco Bell conversation, C.K. swears these are just his regular sober feelings.
I'm not high.
— Louis C.K. (@louisck) October 8, 2014I wish that bit about yelling “aaagh” through space until you can’t hear yourself anymore didn’t strike such a sad, true note in my soul, but nonetheless, I could listen to Louis C.K.’s thoughts on the universe and human suffering for a jiblion years. Never stop.
