If you’ve been following me with any level of regularity on Pajiba then you know that I’ve been relentlessly mocking anyone who’s naive enough to believe Captain Marvel won’t be a box-office success and/or are stupidly working against it, because Brie Larson made the reasonable request of, “Hey, can we get some extra junkets that aren’t full of straight, white dudes?” In short, it’s a man-baby shitshow that’s going to get even worse when Captain Marvel has a solid opening weekend as Marvel movies inevitably do.
Or will it?
For your consideration, here’s a very odd Instagram ad starring Kris Jenner and Lisa Rinna that Marvel’s marketing department somehow felt was needed. We have no idea who the hell this spot is for, except for an internal theory that it was specifically aimed at trash-TV lover Kate Hudson after she wrote a post last weekend dogging the MCU.
Newsflash: It worked. Kate is very here for this.
In the ad, Kris and Lisa are just a couple of ’90s staples who personally return their Blockbuster rentals, so right off the bat, we’re dealing with a very gritty and realistic setting. But on this fateful night, Captain Marvel crashes through the roof, and momager Kris gets to work pimping her out. Yay, Hollywood! Although, in fairness, I do enjoy the juxtaposition of Captain Marvel’s descent from the clouds, which mirrors Kris’ own fall after being cast out of Heaven for leading a rebellion of angels. It’s clever, but not too clever. You know what I mean?
Anyway, here’s an anecdote that might be entirely meaningless or a frighteningly accurate barometer reading that finally cements my status as the Freakin’ Nostradamus of Online Bullshit:
Because I’m married and have children, a significant portion of my life involves stopping at a Target every single day until I die. Over the weekend, I was at one particular location that’s less than half a mile away from a house with a proudly displayed Confederate flag and “Trump 2020” written on a pool shed, so I was balls deep in MAGA country, even more so than usual. But here’s the thing: I overheard a couple of rednecks — that label is a badge of honor here, trust me — making very loud plans to see Captain Marvel on opening day. These are good ol’ country boys with deer stand hoodies, work boots, the whole nine yards, and they are amped to see the next Marvel movie even though the lead can’t write her name in the snow. So what’s my point? Same as always:
#ComicsGate is nothing.
Header Image Source: E!/Marvel