This Is the Dumbest Post I Have Ever Written
Sometimes, when I see Justin Chatwin, I think, “Wow! Haley Joel Osment grew up really nice!”
But then I remember that Haley Joel Osment grew up like this:
That’s an unflattering image from a movie set, because I am cruel. Haley Joel Osment actually looks like this now:
The beard works for him.
Anyway, in the early aughts, Steven Spielberg — who had cast Haley Joel Osment in A.I. — must have decided that for War of the Worlds, he wanted to cast someone like Haley Joel Osment but not actually Haley Joel Osment, so he hired Justin Chatwin, even though Osment was available.
Anyway, Spielberg’s decision propelled Chatwin from “Teenage Fan” in Josie and the Pussycats …
… to Goku in Dragonball:
Although, he did make a brief stop on Lost in between.
Not to be confused with Aaron Paul.
When I showed my wife the picture of Chatwin from Dragonball, she said, “Is that the guy from Party of Five?” because memory is a tricky thing.
Most of us, however, know Chatwin best from Shameless, where he played Jimmy/Steve …
… which was actually a role originated in Britain by James McAvoy, who has no resemblance to Haley Joel Osment.
We didn’t see a lot of Chatwin in between stints on Shameless until last year, when he popped up on Orphan Black.
Knowing what Justin Chatwin looks like these days, how many people watched the Doctor Who Christmas special over Christmas and thought, “Wow! That guy looks exactly like a young Justin Chatwin”?
Incredibly, that’s not a young Justin Chatwin. That’s a 34-year-old Justin Chatwin, who seems to have somehow aged backwards.
In sum, Doctor Who Justin Chatwin hasn’t aged since Dragonball Justin Chatwin.
In other words, Chatwin is a Rudd, which clearly means he’s a warlock, who clearly stole Haley Joel Osment and Scott Wolf’s youth to extend his own.
This officially concludes the dumbest post I have ever written.
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