This is my favorite thing I’ve ever been able to talk to you fine people about. Because in the years that I’ve been on Bieber Beat, it’s like I willed this into being. It’s like I invented a story and it came to life. It’s like the most beautiful, most fitting thing happened and I’m just happy to be able to share it with you.
Justin Bieber, tiny man fetus baby creature, is now literally walking around in public with a pacifier in his mouth. I am not joking.
Here he is BEING HARD AS FUCK with his bros dawg, binky between lips.
The most common theory is that he’s doing this to quit smoking, with Vanity Fair adorably saying, “If that is indeed the case, we shouldn’t tease him.” Oh Vanity Fair, you precious peach, I’m SO going to keep making fun of him for this because it’s hilarious and amazing. People quit smoking every day and good for them however they do it, and good for sweet Baby Buster Bieber for doing it too but also doing it IN THE BIEBEREST WAY. Also, we don’t actually know that’s what he’s doing. He could be starting his own weird trend like Nelly’s decorative band-aid. He could the first famous Adult Baby, living his baby truth.
Whatever the case, thank you, Bieber. Thank you for this gift. Now it’s time for a bath and nigh-nigh.