Some people have too much time on their hands, literally—but I’m not talking about the Old Ones who balance the ills of the world against our reality and control how we construe the passage of moments, and thus ensure that our world doesn’t err too hard on the side of what we call “evil.” No, today I’m talking about that specific brand of killjoys who enjoy policing other people’s social media accounts and get off on telling people just how much they are ruining their children’s lives when they let them do fun things. You know the type.
Friends, if you haven’t been following what’s been going on with Jessica Simpson’s 7-year old daughter’s hair, congratulations. It’s a dumb story, but I’ll share the highlights of it with you now:
Jessica Simpson has a 7-year old daughter who apparently loves that Disney movie series The Descendants. As a result, I’m sure after much pleading on her daughter’s part, she allowed her to dye the ends of her hair pink and purple, I think to match a character’s hair in the movies. I don’t know, I haven’t seen The Descendants. Well, I mean I have but that was a movie starring George Clooney so I think we’re talking about two different things, here. Anyway, her hair looks cute! See for yourself:
People freaked out, because again, they have nothing better to do and they think that letting your kid dye their hair because they want to is the end of the world. (Side note: I checked my codices and that particular sign doesn’t show up on any of the prophecies that predict the end of the world, so….)
Cut to Pink, who recently posted a photo of her dying her own kid’s hair because sometimes baiting those Mommy shamers is fun!
Look—by doing absolutely no research on other time periods but using what I’ve casually observed in movies as fact, I can confidently share with you that up until the mid-20th century, 7-year olds were working in the mines, operating heavy machinery in factories, and even were a part of the mob frequently throwing pies in their enemies faces. (Don’t believe for a second that 12-year-old mob bosses weren’t using 7-year olds as their back up.)
The point being is that a little hair dye isn’t going to harm anyone, and probably won’t ruin anyone’s childhood, especially because 7-year olds have been doing much more mature things for all of time immemorial.
Personally, I’m too busy out there living my life to want to police any child’s behavior. Also, I am a grown woman so it seems weird to have any opinion on anything a child is doing, except to perhaps occasionally ask a kid I see who is eating a particularly delicious looking popsicle or ice cream cone where they got it. That is the beginning and end of my interest in what other people’s young children are doing. Although occasionally I will look a crying baby in the eyes and calmly tell them “why are you crying, my friend? This is the best life will ever get. You are carried everywhere, and food is brought to you on demand. Enjoy this time,” and you know what? Occasionally that works, but that little side bar is neither here nor there.
Header Image Source: Getty