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Jason Biggs Masters the Art of the Douchey Non-Apology

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | July 17, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | July 17, 2014 |

Earlier today, Jason Asshat Biggs tweeted a terrible “joke” (his word, not mine) about the Malaysian airplane that was shot down today near the Russia/Ukraine border.


This, of course, comes just a few months after his first round of Malaysian Airlines comedy.


And also in the same vein as his oh-so-edgy Bachelor live tweeting.


Today, Biggs followed up his tweet with some Adam Baldwin-level defensive assholery.

No bro. U know u a prck?

Later in the day, he finally decided to admit his terrible mistake and apologize. It’s really the only thing to do when you realize you’ve crossed a line and feel remorse for your misstep. Or wait! Not so fast. THIS is the bullshit he put in place of an actual apology.


Wow. That’s some pretty impressive textbook non-apologizing douchery right there. The “sorry if you were offended” and “sorry you THOUGHT they were insensitive,” gives me flashbacks to childhood when my parents used to make my brother apologize to me for tearing down my JTT posters or whatever he may have done that day, and he’d come at me with a less than sincere “sorry you were such a baby and got your stupid little baby feelings hurt, you stupid baby.” Jason Biggs, I did not think I could like you any less but congratulations, you made it happen.


I hope season three of Orange Is the New Black opens with Larry falling down an elevator shaft.

Vivian Kane’s brother never actually tore down her JTT posters. His psychological warfare was more subtle than that.