film / tv / politics / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / politics / web / celeb


In Which I Feel Sorry for a Kardashian

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | June 11, 2013 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | June 11, 2013 |

And it’s not the pregnant one, because that’s what she wants, you guys.

No, it’s one of the younger ones. The Kendall one. There’s two younger ones, you see. Kendall and Kylie Jenner. Both trying to be model types. The younger Kylie one is 15 and dating Jaden Smith. This one, Kendall, is 17, very pretty, and the least public of her brood. You may know her as my favorite because of her alter-ego, Muppet Sleeves.


Anyway, the Kendall one was profiled in the New York Times. Which is impressive, as she is, again, the least public of her siblings and has…I want to say done the least, but I’m sure if you actually look at days of work performed when compared to her siblings, it’s probably pretty neck and neck. But she’s probably the least well known, and it would seem a slow news day for any NYT Kardashian-Jenner offspring profile. So this one is especially curious.

Until you read it, and, when you read it, you realize what it is. A clandestine attempt to notify child protective services about the absolutely shit life of the younger daughters of Kris Jenner. Because this didn’t get their attention, clearly (warning: if you watch that video, you will no doubt be added to several watch lists and never want to have children because it’s really upsetting as a parent and human being. Also I believe that’s the second time footage of those minor children, who were, like, 12-14ish at the time, pole dancing was aired on that show. WTF, E!? What kind of SVU-baiting syndicate are you running, Seacrest?).

From the NYT piece, via Celebitchy:

Kendall Jenner seemed stilted, perhaps because she was being aggressively managed.

Sitting in a small suite at a Midtown hotel, the 17-year-old was fidgeting her way through interview after photograph after interview, helped along by a roomful of zealous publicists and handlers.

“I think you always talk about how appreciative you are,” one of her publicists said.

“Yeah, how appreciative I am,” Ms. Jenner said, plucking at her tights.

“And that you enjoy the life you have,” the publicist said.

“I enjoy the life I have,” Ms. Jenner said, zipping and unzipping a sofa cushion.

Her father is Bruce Jenner, an Olympic gold medalist. Her mother is Kris Jenner, formerly Kris Kardashian, which makes Kendall and her 15-year-old sister, Kylie, the half-siblings of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney. It also makes Kendall next in line for stardom on the family’s series, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” which returned for its eighth season on E! last Sunday.

A grade-schooler when the reality show first appeared in 2007, Ms. Jenner made only brief appearances for the first few seasons. But in 2011, the network broadcast “Kendall’s Sweet 16,” a special that showed her attending her birthday party and getting her driver’s license. Since then, she has shown up more frequently in the series. “I don’t know any different,” she said of growing up on TV. Still, she added: “I don’t want to be a big part of the show. Neither does my little sister, only because we want for a little while to keep our somewhat normal lives.”

In a 2011 episode called “Kim Becomes a Stage Mom,” Ms. Jenner headed to New York for a gig modeling prom dresses, only to storm out of a runway coaching session after her half-sister pushed too hard. “I was just like, I don’t know,” Ms. Jenner said, explaining her behavior. “My sister was being kind of annoying, and I was just overwhelmed.”

Ms. Jenner is represented by Wilhelmina Models, though most of her jobs have been relatively minor and commercial. She was on the cover of American Cheerleader in June 2011 and, with Kylie, on the cover of Seventeen last September. She has posed in bobby socks and rompers for Forever 21. She and her sister also modeled for their own clothing line, Kendall & Kylie — a collaboration with PacSun that includes distressed-denim shorts and studded backpacks.

But her fashion profile has been on the rise recently. In November, she appeared on the cover of Miss Vogue, an offshoot of Vogue Australia, photographed by Mr. James in a backless black dress and Nicholas Kirkwood platform stilettos. In April, she wore Marc Jacobs on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar Arabia; in May, it was Louis Vuitton and Michael Kors in Cosmopolitan. “I hope to do more,” she said.

Bruce and Kris Jenner, married since 1991, are the subject of tabloid divorce rumors in part fueled by a story line on the show. On last week’s season premiere, Ms. Jenner appeared briefly to discuss the state of her parents’ marriage.

In the suite, in a rare unrehearsed moment, she said of the divorce rumor, “It’s just stupid; that’s not true. I don’t feel anything about it,” Ms. Jenner said. “It doesn’t hurt me. It’s not something that gets to me. I know the truth. I live with my parents, and I know what’s going on —-“

Her publicist made a surreptitious cutting motion with her hand.

Ms. Jenner stopped talking and resumed shredding a loose Kendall & Kylie hangtag she had discovered nearby. Soon afterward, she pleaded hunger and left to join Kylie, waiting in another room. She left behind her handlers and a small pile of torn cardboard.

Well, that was the saddest/creepiest thing I’ve rested my eyes on since that pole dancing video a few paragraphs back.

tl;dr — Kris Jenner is a monster person. Ugh. Let the children go, you awful creature.

Here Is the Greatest Collection of Superhero Dancing GIFs the Internet Has Ever Known | 18 Reasons Why Joss Whedon's Newest Film Is His Most Unnecessary