There is a very vocal component of the internet that decries anything reality TV related as trash and not worthy of their time. Those people are not my people. I don’t know them.
For anyone else, you know the magic of a well-timed thrown drink in the face and the pure delight to sit down and watch a cast of thirsty fame whores stand up, be counted, and throw away the last shred of dignity they have all in the pursuit of a semi lucrative hosting appearance on the club circuit. The people who revel in this are my people, and sure, we may be trash people, but we’re trash people together.
In the pantheon of reality TV, Lisa Vanderpump stands out above the rest. An out-of-touch mega-rich lady who brings her dog everywhere, Lisa is my everything. She’s an original member of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but more importantly, she’s the grand dame of Vanderpump Rules. VPR is the greatest reality show of all time, even if this season has been off to a slow start if you ask me. Less James Kennedy getting multiple chances to redeem his horrible behavior, more Tom Schwartz and his half-shot math logic, please.
(Please note I spent 30 minutes trying to find a clip of how Tom Schwartz doesn’t realize six half shots is the same as three full shots, so instead, I have a clip of him and his BFF for life, Tom Sandoval, talking about their newest ventures, TomTom, with Lisa.)
Yesterday, her newest Housewives tagline was revealed and I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t watch it on a loop for more than a minute. She, and it, are mesmerizing.
Living in LA has a few benefits, and many, many negatives, but one of the silver linings is the ability to go to one of Lisa’s restaurant/bars whenever I like…and friends, I go more often than I should. SUR, which Vanderpump Rules revolves around, is ok—I’ve definitely attended a SURsty Sursday with DJ James Kennedy, but I far and away prefer Pump. Pump has a very nice, atmospheric outdoor bar that has pretty good (if slightly overpriced drinks) that’s fun to people-watch in. You get a mixture of Bravo reality stars (the best kind, I mean, I’ve met Giggy there!) C-to-B list actors, and a lot of out-of-towners who come to gawk at the first two categories.
I will admit that I’ve even run into the grand dame herself there, Lisa. Without going into too much detail, I was not entirely sober, and I may have started a round of applause for her after she gave an impassioned speech about equal rights for all. Lisa, despite being on a reality show about rich vapid people, has never shied away from turning spotlights to her causes, which are primarily LGBTQIA+, and animal rights. It’s not all drama, friends. I mean, most of it is, but it’s inclusive drama, which is the best kind.
Now that we’re about to start the next season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, there are rumors that Lisa did not get along with the cast this season, thus her tag line. God let’s hope so.
I gave up on that show halfway through the last season because it got too repetitive, but I’m hopeful that this season can bring me back in, because I love my Lisa fix. My trash TV slate has gotten woefully thin because I also gave up the Real Housewives of Atlanta last season, because Portia is boring and so is the drama she creates—and refuse to watch Southern Charm because it just seems like a show by and for doofy Republican sociopaths.
So while Lisa has been back on our TV screens since December with the new season of VPR, (and never left my heart), I’m glad she’s coming back to RHOBH, if only for one last hurrah (it was rumored she quit halfway through, but that could be a fakeout to get people who gave up last season a reason to tune in.) There’s no such thing as too much Lisa Vanderpump on TV—and when she’s on, we all win.