By Emma Chance | Celebrity | January 29, 2024 |
By Emma Chance | Celebrity | January 29, 2024 |
Harrison Ford is 81 and every time I read a headline about him starring in a new film I brace myself for what I assume will be the next headline, “Harrison Ford Dead in Tragic Acting Accident,” because this man needs to cool it. You’re gonna call me an ageist, but I don’t care; I’m simply worried about the health of a national treasure.
But if the headline reads “Otherwise Healthy Harrison Ford Dead of Sudden, Inexplicable Heart Attack,” just ask his wife, Calista Flockhart, 59—who apparently refers to herself as the “Scare Monster” of their house—what happened. Why does she refer to herself as the Scare Monster?
“Because I hide behind every corner. And so Harrison will walk in, and then I’ll go, ‘Raaah!’ And he’ll go, ‘W-uy-aah!’ And then I’ll die laughing.”
But that’s not the only trick up the Scare Monster’s sleeve. “I’ll put a plastic spider inside his big ice cubes in the tray, and then he’ll drink it,” she said. I’m picturing the kind of ice cube one might put in a rock glass to enjoy with a spirit, so we’re talking about a large ice cube slowly melting into the booze it floats in to reveal a plastic spider. Who are the famous prank people? Impractical Jokers? Ashton Kutcher? Eat your heart out, Ashton!
But don’t worry, Ford gets his revenge. If he discovers a fake spider in his whiskey where an ice cube used to be, he just goes to the plastic vermin drawer in the kitchen—right next to the drawer full of take-out menus and old batteries, one can assume—and devises a plan.
“Then I’ll go to bed two weeks later, and he’s out of town in Jackson, and I’ll take the covers down and there’s this little rubber scorpion. It’s fun,” Flockhart explained.
They have plenty of time for pranks because they’re both introverts. “We stay home a lot, homebodies, which is nice,” she said.
You enjoy your time at home while you can, Calista. We’ve got your number now.