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How to Explain the Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris Feud to an Adult

By Jodi Smith | Celebrity | July 13, 2016 |

By Jodi Smith | Celebrity | July 13, 2016 |

Listen, I am old and I dislike Taylor Swift’s music, save maybe one song. I do find it telling that she’s built a career of writing songs that are clearly aimed at the men she has dated. At some point, someone will come down to your level. I think that happened for Taylor and ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris today.

We know that Taylor is now “dating” Tom Hiddleston and they are SO HAPPY FOR REAL AND MEETING FAMILY AND EVERYTHING IS GLORY AND PONIES. (If she writes a song about Hiddles, I hope it is titled “Never Trust A Prankster God”). Some of you may also know that Taylor has publicly called out in songs/feuded with [deep breath] Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, Harry Styles, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato, Camilla Belle, Katy Perry, and Calvin Harris.

I’m sure I missed some, but let’s focus on the last two names: Katy Perry and Calvin Harris.

Calvin Harris has a song out now with Rihanna called “This Is What You Came For” and it seems to be a hit. The song was credited as being written by Harris and a Nils Sjöberg. Swift’s representative today revealed, apropos nothing, that Nils Sjöberg is the pop star’s writing pseudonym. And that is when the shade hit the fan.

Swift is bored and wants to bury someone, like Katy? Katy Perry? Rumored subject of the idiotic song “Bad Blood”? Why, yes. That is who Harris is referring to with that Tweet. Could it be that Taylor “Women Sticking Together” Swift has a long history of throwing other women under the bus when she deems them an enemy? I could look, but you know how to Google.

Let’s look at why Swift was angry with Perry in the first place. Swift thought Perry “stole” three of her dancers from her Red Tour. Because dancers aren’t people, but possessions to be stolen. Then Swift decided her ex-boyfriend (of minutes, I would bet) John Mayer dating Perry was another betrayal. Swift dropped her special brand of subtle hints in interviews. All of this was just a string wall of connections pointing to a feud, but now that Harris dropped that bomb? SHIT GOT REAL. More details are here.

And how has Perry responded to this Twitter revelation?

Then there was this delicious re-tweet from Perry:

I love high school, you guys. It’s the best distraction.