I say this with absolutely no hyperbole whatsoever: Love…well, love is dead. We now live in a world where Joe Amabile and Kendall Long are no longer together, and honestly, I’m not sure what that means for the rest of us, but personally I’m very, very upset.
Sure, up until today, I’ve never spoken about the two of them, or even written about the show they were on (Bachelor in Paradise) but that doesn’t mean I didn’t care, y’know? Just like breathing, and a new episode of Law & Order SVU on Thursdays, I took Joe and Kendall (JoKe as I called them) for granted. I regret that now. You really never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Gone it is, my friends, make no mistake about that. People.com has the sad details:
“We have decided mutually to go our separate ways. Joe has made the decision to move back to Chicago while Kendall will be remaining in her hometown of Los Angeles,” Long, 27, and Amabile, 33, told BachelorNation.com. “Our family and friends have always been an extremely important element to who we are as people. We can’t imagine continuing our lives without them closer, especially when thinking of starting a family of our own one day. We both respect each others’ decision and still have a great deal of love for each other. We appreciate all the love and support everyone has given us throughout our relationship.”
You may be trying to adjust to a new, post-JoKe existence, and well, I’m here to guide you through this.
First and foremost, you’ll want to plan you vigil outside your local Wendy’s. Why Wendy’s? Isn’t it obvious? It was the most romantic place you could go on a date before love died with the JoKe announcement. Plan ahead, call the local store manager and ask them if they have an outside plug for your sound system. You’ll want to listen to the soundtrack of the love we all once had, this song, on repeat.
After you’ve held your vigil, this next part is going to hurt. You need to take down the art you’ve drawn over the years of JoKe. They’re done, and you don’t need the reminder of what they (and by proxy, you) once had. This is for the best. Trust me on this.
Finally, once that is done, you’re going to have to find the new normal. Now, I’m not sure how, but a precursory Google search tells me that Trista and Ryan (TRy) are still together. So, honestly, maybe hold on to that relationship a bit harder and perhaps love will come back one day. Maybe. Don’t hold your breath.
Today, though. You just gotta do what you gotta do. JoKe is dead. Long live TRy!
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