Guy Fieri Won't Leave Any Money To His Sons Unless They Get Two Degrees

By Emily Richardson | Celebrity | December 19, 2023 |

By Emily Richardson | Celebrity | December 19, 2023 |

Guy Fieri is very rich, bitch. Google says his net worth is around $70 million, and, last month, the Food Network offered him a $100 million contract to ensure he sticks around for three more years.

But if you think the human embodiment of a Flamin’ Hot Dorito is just gonna hand over his hard-earned fortune to his kids, think again. The Mayor of Flavortown has some great expectations. Last week, 55-year-old Guy told Fox News (he was nice to Trump, remember?):

“I’ve told them the same thing my dad told me. My dad says, ‘When I die, you can expect that I’m going to die broke, and you’re going to be paying for the funeral.’”

He added, “And I told my boys, none of this that we’ve been … that I’ve been building are you going to get unless you come and take it from me.”

Guy and his wife Lori have two biological sons, 27-year-old Hunter and 17-year-old Ryder. They also helped raise their nephew, Jules, 22, after his mom (Guy’s sister) died of cancer when he was 11. If any of these boys want Guy’s money, they’re gonna have to earn themselves multiple degrees:

“Shaq said it best. Shaq said it about his kids one time. He says, ‘If you want any of this cheese, you’ve got to give me two degrees.’ Well, my two degrees mean, you know, postgraduate. So they’re on their way.”

But high school senior Ryder isn’t a fan of this rule. Apparently, he said, “Dad, this is so unfair. I haven’t even gone to college yet, and you’re already pushing that I’ve got to get an MBA? Can I just get through college?” Did Guy stutter, Ryder? Get your two degrees. Nephew Jules graduated college and is currently studying in a law program. He plans to get into the music industry.

And then there’s Hunter. He earned his undergraduate degree and is currently working on his Master’s. He’s also being groomed as the next Guy Fieri; Hunter has his own contract as a host on the Food Network (toootally not a handout, he toootally earned that all on his own). Guy tells Fox News, “I think the kid’s going to explode.”

I didn’t even know Guy’s firstborn was a host, but apparently, he is. And it turns out the staff of Pajiba have extremely strong opinions about him. They accused Hunter of having zero charisma or ingenuity: “he has such an awful vocabulary because he’s just repeating his father’s”. They described him as a “charmless nepo baby” who lacks any real passion for cuisine, and referred to Hunter as “the Jaden Smith of the Food Network”. Whoa.

I had to see Hunter for myself, so I watched this 10-minute video of him making spicy tuna poke with wonton chips. Unfortunately for Guy’s heir apparent, the rumors are true; star quality isn’t genetic. Hunter seems downright uncomfortable in front of the camera:

Hmmm. Maybe Ryder and Jules can eventually usurp Hunter in a Succession-style power struggle. Which little Fieri will get their paws on the Flavortown Crown? Which one is Shiv? Will Guy croak in the bathroom of a private jet?