Paul Rudd is an objectively handsome man. He’s got a square jaw, symmetrical features, and a full head of lively hair. Yet, Paul Rudd is not generally considered as (or cast as) a sex symbol. It seems like a waste of a perfectly thirst worthy hunk of man meat to me, but maybe it’s for the best. Paul’s particular talents lie in the finer arts such as charm, affability, intelligence, and overall likability. Besides, I want all you other tricks out there to keep sleeping on him, thus increasing my chances of successfully mating with him when and if we both become widowed. Therefore, the rest of this… let’s call it a “prose ode with pictures”, will focus exclusively on his charms that are unrelated to how he makes me feel in ma basement.
That said, there is one aspect of Paul Rudd’s appearance that can’t be ignored: That uncanny Tuck Everlasting face of his. Paul is 32 years old. Don’t check my math on this. No matter how old the internet says he is, Paul is 32 years old. End of story. And he’ll stay that way, long after all of our faces have started sliding down our necks. Somehow, despite sharing a birth-year (1969) with the grizzled visages of Matthew Mcconaughey, Javier Bardem and Gerard Butler, Paul’s got the fresh face of a Jr. account executive on a perpetual coffee run. By what black magic devilry he achieves this feat, we may never know.
1995— ceeks the cup (@70Ceeks) June 6, 2018
paul rudd: 🙋🏻♂️
paul rudd: 🙋🏻♂️
📂documents— iah (@stanandevans) June 5, 2018
└📁 very soft
└📁 softest of all the softies
└ 📁 - 1998 paul rudd pic.twitter.com/VEvs2iVKri
i hope to age as well as paul rudd has,, like jUsT lOoK aT HIM pic.twitter.com/zscVDWq1w1— katherine xx (@spxdermxn_) May 31, 2018
But having a secret beauty regimen that involves smearing the blood from a virgin sacrifice on an oil painting in his attic isn’t his only asset. Paul has a couple of other things going for him. For one, he seems like a genuinely nice person.
Two years ago we met Paul Rudd, he gave us $100 and we bought a b*ng with it (named Paul Rudd) AND TONIGHT WE FINALLY GOT TO TELL HIM AND HE LOVED IT!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/LFNZWEZEcg— emily (@emilymb0) June 3, 2018
He’s smart too!
Paul Rudd is one of us. pic.twitter.com/jytL11b1uw— best of marvel (@daiIymarveI) June 2, 2018
Perhaps most importantly, Paul doesn’t take himself too seriously. He’s unabashedly goofy. Many of his most memorable performances are examples of what can happen when you leave your ego at the door, lean all the way in, and commit to the bit. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.
Here’s Paul in 2009’s I Love You Man
Paul in 2001’s Wet Hot American Summer (a movie that has gifted us with many glorious Paul gifs)
Here’s Paul and his Parks and Recreation pal (Paul played super dumb candidate Bobby Newport) Adam Scott in The Greatest Event series in which they recreate the opening credits from Bosom Buddies. At 11:31 long, you might be tempted to fast forward to the end, but you’d be a fool if you did. Come on, treat yourself!
I’ve never seen a Paul Rudd performance that didn’t leave me smiling (or fanning myself). What really gets me going though, is Paul in motion. Paul dances like an angel. Baryshnikov, Gene Kelly, and Twitch from So You Think You Can Dance look like knuckle-dragging neanderthals with a bad case of rickets next to the lithe and graceful Paul Rudd.
I’ll leave off with the one thing that solidified my love for Paul when I first saw it. It’s called Celery Man. To me, it encapsulates all of Paul’s best attributes: his sense of play, boyish good looks, earnest dedication to his craft, and most of all, his sick sick dance moves.
Is it silly? Absolutely. Does it make any sense at all? Not a lick. Do I find myself watching it at least once a month? You betcha!