Web Analytics
Does Billy Zane Make His Own Luck?
Pajiba Logo
Old School. Biblically Independent.

Does Billy Zane Make His Own Luck?

By Kate Hudson | Celebrity | January 22, 2019

Billy_Zane_1077932468.jpg
Header Image Source: Getty

Every once in a while, when I see a particularly beautiful full moon, or the weather is just right and I think to myself “man, I wonder if Billy Zane is experiencing this right now. I should call him to make sure.” Then I realize that not only do I not have any way to contact Billy, but also, we’re not friends, or even on friendly terms. Alas, to Billy, I am a stranger.

It’s rare that I want a celebrity to be my friend—despite People.com being my own personal codex of what’s come to pass and things yet to come, I tend to think of celebrities as just randos in the world—except for Billy Zane. He’s special.

Why?

…because he makes his own luck, of course.

Sure, you may say he’s merely reciting the words of James Cameron, who strikes me as the type of director who’s not cool with ad-libbing, but in my heart, I know that even if Billy Zane didn’t write those words, he embodies them every day.

Don’t believe me? Let’s just take a stroll down his Twitter and tell me if you don’t think he’s not making things happen for himself.

Seems pretty lucky to me, when you get to walk through a bubble field and/or record a video of a bubble field in slow motion.

Look at the way he dresses for his red carpet walk! That’s a lucky man, indeed—he looks like either the hero of a ’70s porno, or the villain of an ’80s kids movie about racing go-carts.

I am unlucky for having missed an hour of Billy Zane playing Elvis, but we are all lucky that we can understand Zane-speak via this text. I hope this is what it’s like to speak to him every time.

Ultimately the question you’re wondering is—how did Billy Zane get the ability to create his own luck?

The answer is obvious, friends.

Now, keep in mind I have no definitive proof, but Billy Zane is a man of the world, is he not?

…and being a man of the world, surely he would have stopped by Ireland at some point in his travels, because why not? It’s not a super active volcano spewing ash into the sky or a civilization run by tyrant 4-year-olds who demand no nap times and ice cream for breakfast. No, it’s a relatively safe place for tourists to go to and Billy Zane is a man about town. Surely he’s been to Ireland.

You know where this is going by now, correct?

Billy Zane found a pot o’gold, and was granted luck for its safe return. Obviously, it’s really the only explanation—because remember, friends, he makes his own luck.