I’m talking to you, hypocritical he-who-shan’t-be-named-head-of-a-certain-huge-purportedly-Christian-family. I think we all know you can’t handle this. Then again, I’m not even the slightest bit religious, and some of my…uh (I can’t say that here), bits are tingling confused by the sound of Scarlett Johansson’s smooth-as-silk Old Testament talk.

Sure, it might be part of SNL-er Mike O’Brien’s upcoming comedy album (do we still use that word?) Tasty Radio, but I’m saying go ahead and dim the lights, kick back with a beer, and listen to Deuteronomy like you’ve never heard it before.

Wait, what was she saying? Boy howdy, are these some fun bible verses!

That was nothing.

This one involves private parts. Shhh…whisper.

If you’ve gotta catch up on your bible reading, I can’t think of a better person to help you through the rough stuff.

Cindy Davis, (Twitter)

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