Dermot Mulroney Divorces, Joins Dylan McDermott in Bachelorhood

I never used to confuse Dermot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott. Dylan McDermott was the guy from The Practice. Dermot Mulroney was the guy from My Best Friend’s Wedding. It was easy. Then, somewhere along the way, people started joking about their name confusion so often that my brain began to second-guess itself. Was it Dylan McDermott in The Wedding Date, or was it Dermot Mulroney? What about Three to Tango opposite Matthew Perry? Was it Mulroney or McDermott in Jersey Girl? No, not that Jersey Girl, the other Jersey Girl. Which one is in Chicago Fire, and which one is in FBI: International? Wait, was that Dermot Mulroney or Dylan McDermott in There’s Something About Mary? No, that was Matt Dillon!

The joke about name confusion created name confusion where there was none before. I’m pretty sure it’s Dermot Mulroney who used to be married to Catherine Keener (not Matt Dillon or Dylan McDermott, neither of whom has ever even appeared in a movie with Keener). But somehow, it doesn’t feel right that Dermot Mulroney is announcing his divorce from Prima Apollinaare, which sounds insane because didn’t he just get divorced from Keener, like, five years ago? And didn’t he marry Tharita Cutulle?

Wait! He did marry Tharita Cutulle, but Tharita Cutulle changed her name to Prima Apollinaare, who should not be confused with Dylan McDermott, who used to be married to Shiva Rose but is now not married at all. Although, Dylan McDermott, not Dermot Mulroney, used to be engaged to Maggie Q, who should be confused with no one.

Also, Dermot Mulroney is requesting spousal support from Prima Apollinaare, formerly Tharita Cutulle, but not Shiva Rose. If you’re Dermot Mulroney and you’re making that Chicago Fire money, or is it FBI: International money, why would you need spousal support? Unless he’s just asking to block her from requesting it, which is kind of strange and definitely not something Dylan McDermott would do.

The point is: Neither man is married at the moment, but only one of them has their natural hair color. I’ll let you figure that one out. Hint: It’s not Dylan McMulroney, because that’s not a real person.