Shauna Sexton, Ben Affleck’s ex, has finally given us the insider’s scoop on what it’s like to date Ben Affleck—and it’s exactly what you’d expect.
No, she didn’t intimate if his bedroom is swathed in red velvet, full-length mirrors, empty Jack in the Box wrappers, and every wall space devoted to overseas posters of movies he starred in—with his Batman suit propped up in the corner for good measure. I mean, she didn’t not not say that either, so I’m going to go ahead and keep that mental picture in my mind—and now it’s in yours, too!
Back to dating Affleck (because I’m sure you’re dying to know what you’re missing out on, ladies) an “insider” spoke to US Weekly (so…read between those lines, friend) and basically said it was kind of a nightmare, to the surprise of no one. Seriously, I bet even Affleck is reacting with a shrug, here.
If you don’t want to watch the video (because we all know it’s not about sparing the brain cells, you’re reading this after all) the weirdest anecdote was that he either wanted to go out drinking all the time and meet girls; or he was in church, sober.
During the Playboy model’s two-month fling with Ben Affleck, the 46-year-old Oscar winner’s mood was “always up and down,” a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “Sometimes he [wanted] to go out, drink and get girls, and other times [he was] completely sober and going to church.”
Look, I was an English major not a psych major in college, but even I can spot that Madonna/Whore complex a mile away—it’s a lot to unpack in a vague anecdote, and you know what? It’s Thursday and I’m tired, so I think we’re going to let this one rest for another day. Going too far down that rabbit hole is going to lead to some weird internet searches that are undoubtedly steeped in sadness (which will alert the NSA) and pornography that no casual observer should ever stumble upon.
Is it a fair assessment of who Affleck was as a boyfriend? I don’t know—I’m too old for him to want to date me! Do I want to find out? Absolutely not, so we’re going to have to take Shauna Sexton’s ethnographic account at face value.
I think it’s safe to say that he dated Sexton at a low period in his life, and hopefully, he’s a healthier partner now—but I can’t blame Sexton for being “scarred” that would do a number on anyone.
There is one thing I absolutely do know. He was, and always will be, the bomb in Phantoms, yo.
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