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Bob Kraft, Billionaire Owner of the New England Patriots, Busted for Soliciting Prostitutes

By TK Burton | Celebrity | February 22, 2019 |

By TK Burton | Celebrity | February 22, 2019 |


Jesus Christ on a sh*t-smeared cracker, where do I start.

OK, let’s just get it out there: Bob Kraft, the billionaire owner of the six-time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, was busted for soliciting prostitution in Florida.

That sentence is a lot. A LOT.

As the site’s resident Masshole (an actual one, not just an accent enthusiast like the lovely Mike Redmond), I cannot emphasize how insane this is going to be in the Boston area, assuming that it’s true (and I believe it to be true). The evidence, based on this excellent summary by Deadspin, is fairly damning. In fact, according to the Jupiter, FL Chief of Police, there is video …



Oh, Christ, where was I? Oh right, IN HELL. Anyway, there is “video evidence of Kraft involved in sex acts in a massage parlor on two occasions.” At a massage parlor that charges “30 minutes for $59 dollars, or $79 for an hour.”

Now, I want to be clear. I firmly believe that sex work should be legal and that those who choose to pay for such gratification should not be criminals.

But. This is different. This is a billionaire, Trump-supporting, moralizing shithead who chose to patronize a massage parlor that, from all reports, is essentially staffed by poor immigrant sex slaves. Think that’s an exaggeration? Per the report from

“An investigation into the spa began in October. Surveillance revealed a steady stream of male clients at the nondescript business in a Jupiter strip center between 9 a.m. and 11:30 p.m. They would stay for 30 minutes to an hour, arrest records show. Women, many of them from China, lived inside and were not permitted to leave, detectives learned.”

Don’t worry, it’s worse than that. From a second article:

“These girls are there all day long, into the evening. They can’t leave and they’re performing sex acts,” (Vero Police Chief) Currey said… many came from China on temporary work visas, indebted to the brokers who helped them reach America, but believing legitimate jobs awaited them. “Some of them are trying to make a better life for themselves,” he said. “These people truly are stuck.” They were shamed, intimidated and taught not to speak to law enforcement or immigration officials.”

I know people want to be jubilant with schadenfreude over this, but my god. It’s actually pretty horrific stuff. This was a part of a raid on a human trafficking ring, not just some rich fuck getting a handy on the side. And not just any rich fuck. Bob goddamn Kraft. His name is on the YMCA that I take my kid to for swimming lessons. He’s like a second mayor around here.

There’s a nightmarish poetry to it all. A billionaire Trump-supporter (who, incidentally, married a woman 40 years younger than him eleven months after his wife died) who owns a six-time Super Bowl Champion football team is going to get busted for getting cheap handies from poor illegal immigrants who came here for the promise of a better life. I can honestly think of no better or more damning indictment of this hellscape that America has become.

If I’m being honest, my Patriots fandom — hell, my football fandom — has been middling at best of late. There’s just too much, and when your team represents all of the worst parts of the sport, it becomes harder and harder to throw that jersey on and cheer for them. Kraft seems determined to drive what was left of my fandom into the dirt, and I’m fine with that. I just wish it didn’t come at such an awful human cost.