When the going gets tough and you’re not the most well known totally legit and not at all promoted couple on the block anymore, you do what you must to get back on top.
And for bashful Trump lover Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, that means get married. Kind of. What it actually means is to leak that you might have contacted a wedding planner maybe.
Sources familiar with the situation tell us Blake and Gwen have hired famed celebrity wedding designer, Jerri Woolworth, who has offices in Tennessee and New York. Woolworth has planned events ranging in size from 15 to 15,000 people. She’s planned events for the CMAs, the NFL and the NHL.
We don’t know if a date has been set.
OK, let me break that one down for you. That whole paragraph was an ad for Woolworth, meaning she’s the one who “leaked” it and you don’t “leak” that kind of thing without your client’s permission, because you don’t want to lose the account, so Gwen and Blake are trying to get that wedding-level attention boost without actually having a wedding just yet. This is some C-level-celebrity grade stuff here and it’s really embarrassing that they’ve been engaging in it. Seriously, they’re putting the Tragic in Tragic Kingdom.
The question then becomes HOW DO TAYLOR AND TOM TOP THIS? They’ve been so busy with stories of “Tom rushes to her side to help her cope with this Kim and Kanye disaster” stuff, they’ve forgotten about their true enemy. How do they compete? Probably like this:
professional Instagram photographer totes Taylor on her cell phone will post something precious and blessed blessing us all.
- Tom will dance at a Taylor concert/SQUAD member concert.
- Taylor will be seen hiding her ring finger.
- They’ll kiss on the Empire State building or some other obvious-ass shit from a rom-com.
- Taylor will be seen touching her stomach.
- MOAR SWANZ. SWANS ALL AROUND.