Warning: Some of you may want to save this read for your, uh…”alone time.”
Benedict Cumberbatch was recently interviewed by Elle UK, and during the conversation, the topic of Sherlock sex came up — because, of course it did. Not Cumbersex, you guys — Sherlock sex. Now, you might think Sherlock sex would be a little too technical or dry; perhaps he’d overanalyze? But that’s not how Ben sees things. In fact, as you read, you may want to have a small…fan nearby.
Elle UK: “What do you think Sherlock would be like in bed? How would you play a love scene as Sherlock?”
Cumberbatch: “Oooh… You know I’d get the, I’d probably test the latex, if it involved prophylactics, beforehand.
I’d do a little experiment to do with durability, length, girth, and um, strength. And um, I would probably take a lot of vitamin supplements to make sure that I could perform, and had had my sleep, and probably not had many cigarettes. Or drink, for that matter. Not that he does drink.”
Elle UK: “You see. Proficient, but lacking enthusiasm.”
Cumberbatch: “Yeah, no wait for it. I would probably watch a lot of porn…
I might have to shave, um, areas to fit in with a modern idea of bodily hair.
And then I would be devastating. I’d know exactly how to please a woman, I’d know exactly where to put my fingers, where to put my tongue, where to put my - his I should say - his fingers, his tongue. Think about violinists, think about what they can do with their fingers.
And I’d know exactly how to get that person into it, and get pleasure out of making that person feel pleasure to the point that I probably wouldn’t even have to enter…
But when I did it would be explosive.”
Elle UK: “But does he ever lose control?”
Cumberbatch: “So in sex, would he lose control? I think to have really good sex he would probably have to.”
Elle UK: “So he’d decide to lose control. He’d make a controlled decision?”
Cumberbatch: “This is a very dark alley we’re going down. No pun intended. Um, Yeah. Yeah. If it was necessary yes, yes. Very much so.”
Elle UK: “I’d quite like to watch that love scene now.”
Cumberbatch: “You never will. It’s not that kind of a programme, is it?”
ME: “WELL, MAYBE IT SHOULD BE THAT KIND OF PROGRAMME.”