Australia Doesn't Care How Sexy Johnny Depp Was, They May Kill His Dogs

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | May 14, 2015 |

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | May 14, 2015 |

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Having become an untouchable megastar playing pirate Jack Sparrow, there was going to come a time when Johnny Depp got too into the role and thought he too is above the law. Now his Yorkshire terriers could pay with their lives!

When he’s not missing or having a mysterious hand injury taken care of, Depp has been spending much time in Australia shooting Pirates of The Caribbean: Sweet God Why Is This Happening?* Dead Men Tell No Tales. But Australia is a country with very strict laws about animal quarantine. So when Depp and his wife Amber Heard allegedly smuggled their pups Boo and Pistol (ugh) into the country on their private jet they became scofflaws.

THR reports Australian agriculture minister Barnaby Joyce’s choice words on the matter:

“There is a process if you want to bring animals: you get the permits, they go into quarantine and then you can have them. But if we start letting movie stars — even though they’ve been the sexiest man alive twice — to come into our nation [and break the laws], then why don’t we just break the laws for everybody?…It’s time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States.”

Boo and Pistol have til Saturday to GTFO of Oz. As for Depp, Today reports he could face hefty fines or “even jail time.”

“If he doesn’t take Boo and Pistol back, we do have to euthanize them,” Joyce added. “Just because he’s Johnny Depp doesn’t make him exempt from Australian laws.”

Joyce is getting lots of hate from Depp fans.** But personally, I admire that Joyce acknowledged the real issue here: Just because you’re sexy and famous doesn’t mean you can potentially fuck up the biosecurity of a nation that is currently and proudly rabies-free. Even if it is just Australia.***

*Freudian slip.

**Apparently there are people who didn’t see Mortdecai, Tusk, Transcendence, The Lone Ranger, Dark Shadows…I could go on.

***JK, Aussies. I’ll love you always for your contributions to cinema, like The Babadook, Mad Max Fury Road and Crocodile Dundee.

Kristy Puchko is pleased she was able to use the word ‘scofflaw’ today.