Donald Trump Jr. doesn’t have a chin. He’s also openly dating Kimberly Guilfoyle, but now I’m just showboating because everything you needed to know was in that first sentence. Anyway, I highly doubt he and/or she are open to attending a birthday party hosted by his alleged mistress Aubrey O’Day at the Hustler Club in Vegas on New Year’s Eve. Then again, stranger things have happened like, oh I dunno, Trump’s fungus-peenered dad taking over an entire political party and ascending to the presidency on a blatant wave of corruption and treason that Mr. Magoo could clearly see, so who the hell knows? They probably RSVP’d already.
The ex-Danity Kane member is set to perform 3 songs at the shindig, and even share face time with certain guests. That could be Trump Jr. … if his heart desires! Although, we’re pretty sure his current GF, Kimberly Guilfoyle, ain’t gonna be down for this.
The club’s GM actually went through Jr.’s dad … sending a letter to Prez Trump, cordially inviting both him and his boy to party. He wrote, “You and your family have done so much for this country that we at the Hustler Organization want to show our appreciation by throwing [DTJ] a birthday he will never forget.”
Oh, cool. They invited his dad, too, so now there’s a 50/50 chance that the President of the United States will show up on TMZ stealing dollar bills out of his son’s mistress’ thong and converting them into Filet-O-Fish. What a time to be alive.
In the meantime, if Aubrey’s trying to entice Junior, I guess this is one way to do it?
On the one hand, that seems to be a pretty deliberate rebuke of his dad’s administration. On the other, O’Day’s shirt is either a reminder or a direct invitation, so let’s assume it’s all of the stuff I said, but somehow way stupider. The important thing is that 2019 clearly has every intention of barreling in with a whole new tsunami of WTF at its back, so it’s probably a good idea to prepare for the batshit worst. I’m talking Trump starts openly Tweeting Putin that he needs more Mexican Viagra, but this time address it to “Tina” because it’s time she starts “pulling her weight.”
Tina is of course Tiffany, or maybe Eric. “One of the weird blondes without the sweet cans,” an FBI document dump will later clarify.
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