Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Kayleigh Donaldson | Celebrity | April 10, 2026
Cats is back on Broadway, albeit with a twist. Cats: The Jellicle Ball reimagines the notoriously weird and oft-parodied musical as a queer ball, complete with voguing, categories, and judges' scores. It's a critical triumph and it's helped to put some shine back on the name of one of the most popular but derided stage shows of the past 50 years. Dare I say it but Cats is cool now. It's a relief for Andrew Lloyd Webber, the show's composer, who has been living under the shadow of CGI buttholes for a while now.
The 2019 movie adaptation of Cats is, of course, a nightmare, a cavalcade of bad CGI and baffling creative decisions made by a director, Tom Hooper, who seemed utterly convinced that realism was the way to go with a story about singing and dancing felines. It's one of the most fascinating disasters in recent cinematic history and a cautionary tale that will inspire countless bad movie nights. Once you've seen nude cat Idris Elba, you'll wonder if there truly is a God.
Lord Andy was famously, and understandably, rather traumatized by the experience of Cats, and he's never been shy about discussing it. While discussing the new revival, he spoke to Mo Rocca of CBS's Sunday Morning about its marvels and his excitement for its future. When asked about Cats the movie, he got suitably shady.
What was so wrong with the film? 'Is this a very very long interview we're doing? Because it would be a very very long list.' ALW may be the most hetero man in musical theatre, but he can still do a solid read when the occasion calls for it. The movie was such a hellish experience that it led Webber to adopt a dog. Yes, he had to get a puppy to wipe his memory clean of the image of uncanny human-cats with furry en-pointe toes and nipple-less boobs.
He said, 'Because of the appalling Cats movie, I went out and bought myself a little Havanese puppy to recover from the trauma of the cats. It's my therapy dog on planes. I just write a note to the airplanes saying, you know, 'Reason for dog on plane'? And just put Cats the movie, and they always come back saying, 'No doctor certificate required.'
Can I use that excuse? I had to see the movie too, Andrew! I ran out of alcohol by the time James Corden turned up. It was a long night. I think Judi Dench is still singing that final song somewhere. Hey, remember when she excitedly scissored the air after Ian McKellen sang about being a sad old theatre cat? I'll never forget.
At least sending Tom Hooper to director jail means I'll never have to worry about him making a movie out of my favourite piece of Lloyd Webber trash: Phantom! Knowing my luck, it'll end up being made by Emerald Fennell.
