When I last discussed the oddness of the Hiddleswiftening photos, there were those who pointed out that these, while exceptionally over the top, weren’t necessarily without precedent from our fair TayTay. And they were right.
There was that time she and Harry Styles took their love zooward.
And then they found a baby.
There was that time she and Jake Gyllenhaal walked around like this. Like humans do.
There was that time she wanted to be a Kennedy so much she could taste it and it tasted like lobster rolls and scandal.
Just living a Kennedy life like a human J. Crew catalog, eating things off of endive leaves and watching her 18-year-old boyfriend do kegstands and wondering “how worth it is it to me to be a Ke—yes, totally worth it.”
Of course, by the time her most recent relationship with Calvin Harris came about, theirs was a love shared entirely on social media, and while every image was immensely cheesy and awful, it wasn’t necessarily in a staged way, just in a Taylor Swift way. Also Calvin Harris sucks. Also he’s a fucking DJ and imagine that your boyfriend is a DJ and you’re photographed like this at Coachella reacting this way as though it’s incredible beautiful art except he’s a DJ.
And that brings us to the crimefighting team of Hiddles and Swifty. And I’m starting to suspect that Tom is as in on the fromage of it all as Taylor is, hence these images being released days after the beaching and swan pastrying of it all.
Trust me. I’m for it. But, were I coming at this from a purely professional PR standpoint, I’d say, hydrate. Because your thirst is too strong.
But why would Hiddleston do this, you ask? He’s SO famous.
Well. Apparently only around Tumblr.
I’m sorry. But I am actually LOLing at this. BECAUSE IT IS TOO MUCH.
Thank you Taytertot. For bringing me such joy eternal.