The Man Who Ate Axl Rose Performs a Embarrassing, Weak-Ass Acoustic Version of "Welcome to the Jungle"

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The Man Who Ate Axl Rose Performs an Embarrassing, Weak-Ass Acoustic Version of "Welcome to the Jungle"

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | October 22, 2012 | Comments ()

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In a benefit for the Bridge School organized annually by Neil Young to assist children with severe physical impairments and complex communication needs, Axl Rose and whatever incarnation of Guns n' Roses currently exists trotted out some weak-sauced acoustic version of "Welcome to the Jungle" featuring an Axl Rose who looks and sounds like an overweight emphysemic struggling to get sound through his mustache.

It's ... well ... there's a reason Axl Rose doesn't make a lot of public appearances, but hey! It's for a really good cause. Set your expectations as low as possible, and then set them about 47 levels lower. You'll still be disappointed.

Somebody get that man a chair and an oxygen tank.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Mike

    you sound as though you think this song was good to begin with.

  • Walde

    I went to see this on Sunday and I have to say that it was way better than the Saturday performance. Not super tight by any stretch of the imagination, but he did a passable job and his band were pulling some impressive stuff (and they were good with the kids). Maybe some of this is low expectations talking, but he still outdid The Flaming Lips.

  • Mrs. Julien

    1. I thought he was dressed as some bizarre homage to Neil Young.

    2. Your faux song lyrics are offensive to fat people, like me, and I am crippled with hysterical weeping laughter.

    So wrong. So right. So Pajiba.

  • Barry

    Ya'll do realize that even in Axl's "prime" with GNR he could *never* bring it singing live...not one single time. And yeah I paid good money to learn that.

  • blarghl

    Looks like Axl ate the video. Anyone have another link?

  • Tracey Sims
  • Fabius_Maximus

    Man, I should have taken that blocked first video as a sign not to go looking for an unblocked version.

  • TK

    52 seconds and I'm out.

  • David Sorenson

    Said by Axl Rose the last time he tried to take a walk.

  • Big Lou

    I was there last night...every act leading up to this was streets ahead of this "band". Completely underwhelming and lacking. The band didnt sound tight at all and Axel just sounded old and out of energy. Completely disappointing...but my expectations were low for these guys...Jack White made Axel Rose look like a panzy...

  • Sirilicious

    HAHAHA he so fat, he so funny.

    Seriously? He's performing, please stick to ridiculing his singing, if you must.

  • googergieger

    Fatxel Rose?

    Tons N' Roses?

    Welcome to the Jungle....please don't eat all the animals.

    He's fat.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Are they playing in Branson?

  • Mrcreosote

    Wait, does this mean Mr. Brownstone is a deli?

  • SugarSmak

    I KNEW Andy Kaufman wasn't dead! This is a Kaufman goof (like Tony Clifton), isn't it?

  • Who in their right mind thought this song would BENEFIT from an acoustic rendition?

  • Schafer

    Fat Axl!
    Thank you Pajiba for inspiring my upcoming Halloween costume!
    It won't even be much of a stretch... I'm already chubby, and I can't sing worth a damn either!

  • Bert_McGurt

    "Welcome to the buffet,
    we got pies and cake,
    we got lots of fatty treats,
    don't you worry 'bout your weight.

    We got the pizzas and pork rinds,
    And burgers made of beef,
    After waiting in our line so long,
    Sittin' down's such a relief!

    At the buffet, welcome to the buffet
    We got thirty kinds of ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cheese, cheese, CHEESE!
    At the buffet, welcome to the buffet...I wanna watch you EAT!"

  • $27019454

    The Bridge School and Neil deserved so much better than this.

  • AsdffAnon

    Hilarious! It plays like a great Chris Farley skit.

  • Bram

    As bad as Monday is it didn't deserve this.

  • L.O.V.E.

    "Welcome to the buffet, we got pies and cakes.
    We got all the ham you want, we even got honeybaked."

  • zeke_the_pig

    Ding! Winner. - tangent: yep, he's a douchebag, but some of my fondest memories are tied to Appetite for Destruction so I can't help find this sad. As usual, one man describes it perfectly:

  • L.O.V.E.

    sub-tangent: I went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony in Cleveland (CLEVELAND!) for two bands: Beastie Boys and GNR (my wife went for RHCP, but I forgive her). I was all psyched for the potential reunion of Axl with the rest of the band. Then he makes his big ol' bullshit statement about why he ain't coming. And I, like many, was really bummed about it. But now that I HEAR him sing I am quite grateful he didn't show because it would have been a disaster and a major let down. Somethings are better left untouched (unheard).

    He didn't show because he is a coward. It wasn't based on a personal constitution or being "Rock and Roll". His little treatise was the anti-Sex Pistols letter, really. Flaccid.

    I don't usually mock people's weight gain, but fuck this guy and his bucket of chicken shit. I am doing him a favor. He can feel free to use my lines when he is left doing jingles for Hometown Buffet or a Vegas hotel in 5 years.

    Stanhope's point aside, it was a pleasure seeing performers like Donovan and Faces show they still got a bit of their magic left. For every Axl who should choke on a chicken wing, there is a Laura Nyro who probably did leave the music landscape a bit deprived by her early demise.

  • zeke_the_pig

    But, yeah, dude, I totally see your point. Don't get me wrong - I'd rather not see, or hear Axl ever again, because when I do it's the passage of time running up to me at a bus stop and smacking upside the head with a soiled newspaper.
    Also, if you don't get into EE with Welcome to the Buffet, I'm calling shenanigans.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    We've got all the pastry, you'll eat it eventually.
    You can have all the dessert you want but you better believe it's not sugar-free.

  • L.O.V.E.

    In the buffet, welcome to the buffet
    Check my, my, my .... diabetes.
    I, I want extra cream.

    In the buffet, welcome to the buffet
    Check my blood pressure, it brings me to my kn-kn-knees, knees
    I'm gonna watch you feed.

  • Wicked

    Hahaha, that's hilarious.

  • Natallica

    I lol'ed

  • Socrates_Johnson

    Damn. Adam Savage is looking like shit.

  • BobbFrapples

    He even stole Adam's hat!

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