Someone Has Finally Found A Way To Kill Your Lady Boner For Colin Firth

By Joanna Robinson | Videos | July 8, 2013 | Comments ()


pride-and-prejudice-darcy-colin-firth.jpg

In order to promote the new UKTV channel “Drama,” the network polled the UK TV watching public to discover what they thought was the most iconic moment in British television history. While the Colin Firth fangirl in me can’t argue with the results (Mr. Darcy emerging from the water in BBC’s “Pride And Prejudice”), I can recoil in horror at what UKTV decided to do with this information. They’ve constructed a massive Mr. Darcy statue, complete with clingy cambric shirt, and plunked him into the middle of the Serpentine. Oh, what, you think it’s a good idea? I’ve got a two-word counter argument for you: DARCY NIPPLES.

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You can go to the Guardian website to see footage of the monstrous erection. Just. Hideous.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • AshBookworm

    Nothing will ever kill my lady boner for Colin Firth.

  • beletseri

    I think I'm going to go home and watch the original as a pallet cleanser.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    The DVD for part two is..um..still in my DVD player. For some reason. Ahem.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I showed this to my wife yesterday thinking that she would like it. I...was mistaken.

  • practicaljane

    Just so we're clear - that bit was never shown in the BBC series, right? We see Darcy diving in, and swimming underwater - and then by the time Elizabeth sees him he's just walking around in a wet shirt. This statute is basically a fanwank, yes?

  • PaddyDog

    Correct. The mini-series never shows him emerging from the water. As for monstrous erections, I read an interview with Firth in which he said he was absolutely freezing because the water was cold to begin with and they kept hosing him down for multiple takes so I imagine there was a lot of shrinkage involved.

  • DataAngel

    That's just their cover story. Clearly this is The Old One who is rising from the deep to destroy mankind. Its true face is too horrifying for our mortal brains to comprehend, so it's adopted a form it believes is more pleasing in an attempt to get us to lower our guard and embrace The Tentacled One, just as he will embrace us all.

    OH GOD EVEN WITH MY EYES CLOSED I CAN STILL SEE!

  • Wild Rumpus

    All Hail the Rise of the Old One! Ia! Ia! Colinthu Firthagn!

  • BWeaves

    I wouldn't have a problem with this if it ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE HIM.

    That statue looks like Argus Filch after a drenching spell.

  • Mrs. Julien

    It totally does. He had it coming.

  • BuffyloGal

    Jane Austen was many things, but tacky wasn't one of them.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    And then Colin Firth packed his bags, booked a flight with his wife to Italy and screamed at Heathrow "I GIVE UP! I WON AN OSCAR YOU KNOW?"

  • Mrs. Julien

    Thank you for using a Muppet Mr. Darcy photo for the header and not the sculpture. It is too early for screaming and I was able to scroll down slowly so as to temper my reaction with time.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Oh my actual God. Thanks for previewing my nightmares for the next week.

  • My god what a drowned monstrosity.
    At least now we know whose religion Theon Greyjoy was baptised in.

  • Pat Sponaugle

    I can't believe my lady boner for Colin Firth was finally killed. Time to admit this to my wife.

  • thewatcher

    you're worried about nipples? you better start thinking about the body part people try to look at when they pause the movie just as he dives in! oh, and bridget jones would be the first one taking a picture at the site, and i'm not speaking about zellweger.

  • It doesn't even look like him!

    "He doesn't even GO here!!!"

  • JoannaRobinson

    "I wasn't even supposed to be here today!"

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You say "monstrous erection" as if that's a bad thing.

    Though that statue is, on the whole, extremely creepy.

    Now I'd like to see a post on whether Siberia is Catfishing us. Did a camera man really die? How actory are the actor-contestants? So confusing.

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