Here's Nick Offerman's Slam Poem About Bacon. You're Welcome
The man loves bacon.
While we're on the subject, and for my own edification: What do you think is the best way to prepare bacon? I actually like using the microwave because it's easier to make it crunchy. Frying pans, however, give your entire house that lovely bacon aroma. But I think the best way to prepare bacon is the broiler. Lay down some aluminum foil over a cookie sheet, line the cookie sheet with bacon, and broil each side for 12 minutes. That's bacon perfection.