Pajiba

I know why your name is Dustin, BECAUSE YOU JUST THREW A BUNCH OF DUST IN MY OFFICE.

*sniff*

I love it.

See, when Ellen does it, it feels like genuine "I have lots of money and power, let me use it to make people smile", whereas I cannot sit through Extreme Home Makeover because the emotional manipulation (on the audience) is so overt and off-putting.

I sometimes* dream of being on her show. Sometimes as a random person that she showers with gifts, sometimes because I've done something semi-famous, sometimes as one of her team members that delivers the fun stuff. I would take any and all opportunities.

*often

I've been in a weird, sad mood all morning for no reason, and this just made my day. It's a good reminder 1 - that I have it SO GOOD and 2 - that there ARE in fact good things that happen to good people that have fallen on hard times.

Also, I love Ellen. My mom and I watched her show every day when I moved home to care for her after her accident and she is just a joy.

Followed up by explanatory asides responding to someone's comment.

I cherish you, Dustin.

This is nice and it makes me feel good, happy birthday to me. Bitches can do nice things, too - but that is neither here nor there.

And fuck "One Million Moms", I have NO love for Ellen but would go out of my way to shop at Penny's to spite them. They and the PTC, likely the exact same 12 people, can go pound sand up their retentive asses for all of their indignation.

What was I talking about?

Oh, charity porn. I've missed you, even in your subtle shades of scarlet.

These 1%-ers have us right where they want us. Gladiatorial spectacle and public acts of kindness in the same week. The kindness to which I refer is, of course, not this but to little Maria Menounos making and then honoring her Super Bowl bet. I felt sorry for her as I looked carefully for signs of emotional distress. Detached empathy is so complicated. A more sporty boy short would have made things simple and not weird, but a little white string bikini bottom? That's not OK.

no, those aren't tears in my eyes. Damnit.

Ellen rules because she is authentic. Her caring is fully genuine. Love her completely.

Oh Katsings, you are a joy.
That is really great of you.

Is anyone else noticing a pattern in Dustin's articles?
Sarcastic title
Heartwarming content
Pre-emptive telling off of Pajiba constituency
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 7, 2012 12:38 PM

Dustin is just struggling a little with the hormone therapy. Don't be too hard on him. It can be a very confusing time.

This reminds me of a "What If..." conversation I had in which we discussed what we'd do if we ever won a super lottery jackpot.

I said that if it had been me, I would become the Tooth Fairy. I would tell no one of my fortunes and if I found someone needed help, they would get it anonymously. Say somebody had an old jalopy and depended on it to get to work, they would wake up one morning with a new car in the driveway. Nothing fancy, just a new vehicle with good fuel economy and decent air conditioning. Someone else might be killing themselves with two jobs to pay for tuition, the next day their semester's expenses would be paid. Someone's child needs treatment, someone's home needs repairs...and so on and so forth. Problems solved without pomp and circumstance. People whom I felt needed worthy help would get it. They would not know by whom and it would be without fanfare. I would know I helped someone and that would be all that mattered. I would not need the recognition and I really wouldn't care either. The fact that something positive was done would be enough for me. Does it really matter who did the good so long as the good were done?

The point is that rich assholes don't really need to get recognition by the public at large in order to do good either. They could do those sorts of kind acts everyday before breakfast without breaking a sweat or their bank accounts. But I doubt they do. So please forgive me for a moment if I take the achievement of such as something to be scorned upon- or at the very least call the motivation into question. If you need to show off your good deeds on your television show, or press junket or tax records audit, the question then becomes, "Would you still have done the good deed it if nobody ever knew it were you?" Perhaps people like Degeneras or Winfrey or other rich people would have done so anyway....but then again maybe not. Being a good and decent person should not require crowd accolades.

Damn it. I am home with a very sick guinea pig and am approaching Kristen Bell-levels of emotional fragility at the moment. Why would you do this to me?

In other news, I am definitely not watching any other talk shows today. Just in case.

I'm not sure I understand why someone being rich somehow diminishes the niceness of their acts.
Or why doing it in a public manner somehow makes it less meaningful. I'm sure the people receiving the gesture appreciate it as much, and people like seeing people do nice things. It might even make others more likely to go out and do something nice.
I also wouldn't assume that doing it publicly means that is the only time she does it.
However much of a bitch someone might appear to be (which I won't speculate on), that doesn't mean they don't genuinely care about people.

@bluejayone, I totally get your point. I do. But I think the value of the good example nullifies all the Hey Looka Me Be Generous Hey Evrabody that seems inherent in the gesture. I think the good-example factor cannot be erased regardless of how it may "really" be when you scratch off all the shiny paint. For whatever reason -- sincerity or clever marketing or just great acting...this seems looks and feels like the real deal. It made me want to go out and do something nice...and I'm not really all that nice. I AM, however, a total sucker for that Random Acts Of Kindness bumper sticker and I made a deal with my bad self that I would actually do something nice when ever I saw that damned sticker. And I do. This is more of the same. For what it's worth, that's how I see it. I end up putting a lot of coins in parking meters. I wonder if it counts if while I am doing so I am feeling super great about screwing the city out of all those nice juicy parking fines. Take that, City!

Eh. I'm going to allow it. Ellen never said she was going to change the world. She gave someone a car? That's nice.

Also, I pretty much give Ellen a pass on most things because she is Ellen and shut the hell up, okay?

If giving a car away to needy people is crass then we need waaaaay more product placement in peoples lives.

I never watch Ellen--simply no time--and so I never would have seen this if it weren't posted here. Damn you, Dustin, for preying on my hormonal self. I'm red-eyed and hubby is now wondering what he did wrong.

I end up putting a lot of coins in parking meters.
---
Fuck 'em if they don't know where the free parking spaces are.

Isn't Dustin the one who railed against the cutsieness of Cheezburger a few years ago?

Who are you and what have you done with the real Dustin?

"I'm not happy that Ellen did this nice thing for someone, the source is largely irrelevant; I'm happy that this person had something nice happen to them, period."

YES! Regardless of the underlying reason and regardless of whether there are people in greater need, the bottom line is that someone has had her life change for the better. Why must we concern ourselves with the underlying motive for the gesture? Perhaps I am being a big babe-in-the-woods-wide-eyed-optimist about it all, but I am surrounded by many people who have been blessed with much but who still find reasons to complain about the smallest issues. It is truly nice to see someone who seems truly grateful for the help she has received and who has committed to focusing on the positive receive help.

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