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Gary Oldman's Dramatic Recounting of Snooki's Urinary Tract Infection

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Videos | Comments (18)

gary-oldman.jpg

Last night on Kimmel, Gary Oldman took the stage to perform a dramatic reading of Snooki’s pee problems on “Jersey Shore.” It doesn’t quite match the level of Go the F*ck to Sleep, as read by Sam Jackson, but there is something extraordinarily sublime about Gary Oldman saying “JWow” and “Booger” and “wiener” and “pees on herself.”

Also, “Jersey Shore” is f*cking disgusting.

(Via The Wrap)










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Comments

Gary,

Remember that little blemish that was Lost in Space, that's been blighting your resume like a painful ingrown hair in one's crotch?

Yeah, consider it expunged from the record.

Posted by: bleujayone at February 3, 2012 10:53 AM

I'm pretty convinced that Oldman was very, very drunk while doing this.

Posted by: FabMax at February 3, 2012 11:08 AM

This is so brilliant. I love that man.

Posted by: Jayne at February 3, 2012 11:13 AM

Next season on Masterpiece Theatre, Gary Oldman recites Dog, The Bounty Hunter.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 3, 2012 11:49 AM

I'm certain this is the highlight of his career. Reminds me of Christopher Walken reading the lyrics to Poker Face. They should bring in Judy Dench to live-recap Gossip Girl.

Posted by: Joker at February 3, 2012 11:51 AM

I vote for Jeremy Irons reading a transcript of Tom Cruise's You Don't Know The History of Psychology, Matt diatribe.

There's a theme building here...

Posted by: klingonfree at February 3, 2012 12:16 PM

1. Those people on Jersey Shore are animals.
2. It's so, so weird to hear Oldman using his normal voice. That being said:
3. Gary Oldman: Get on me.

Posted by: figgy at February 3, 2012 1:18 PM

Gary, you sexy bitch. Why you gotta make me love you so much??

Posted by: Ginger at February 3, 2012 1:59 PM

I have no idea why I find Gary Oldman so unbearably sexy. I mean, the accent obviously, but... to be honest, his face reminds me of my aunt, the one who smokes menthols and smells like gin and baby powder. These are not sexy things. I AM SO CONFUSED.

Posted by: littlelion at February 3, 2012 5:47 PM

For this alone he wins an Oscar, right? I love this man so hard right now.

Posted by: greer at February 3, 2012 7:23 PM

Now if we could get Snooki reading excerpts from, say, Downton Abbey, the universe might explode.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at February 3, 2012 9:45 PM

GAH. I love this.

Posted by: stardust at February 3, 2012 11:35 PM

While I was watching that video, the most extraordinary thing happened: the minute Gary Oldman began to speak, my panties dropped to the ground. Most unsettling.

Posted by: Az at February 4, 2012 1:16 AM

This? This right here is gold! I want him all to myself!!

Posted by: Trixie at February 4, 2012 4:36 AM

Ew, Snooki's UTI is just unimaginably gross. These people are just so repulsive.

Posted by: severine at February 4, 2012 4:08 PM

The fact that there's no way this man is going to win an Oscar this year is one of the many reasons why I don't think the Academy Awards employ any form of cerebral activity in their voting process.

Posted by: Zirze at February 5, 2012 4:27 PM

I'd pay good money to see Tilda Swinton reenact the Kardashians... or Anthony Hopkins recite dialogues from Ghost Hunters... Rupert Everett channelling Bear Grylls... Someone get on this right away.

Posted by: cinekat at February 6, 2012 4:05 AM

Its meant to be sarcastic and funny and it is! Hilarious! A wonderful respected actor reading a crappy reality show script!

Posted by: Polly at February 6, 2012 9:49 AM