Baby on Board Trailer

Oh, Vern Tessio. What Happened, Brother?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (19)

A few days ago, Entertainment 7 became the proud new distributor of the movie Baby on Board, a Jerry O’Connell, Heather Graham “comedy” that has absolutely no business getting a theatrical release. It’s about a woman (Graham) who thinks she sees her husband (O’Connell) cheating on her right after she learns she’s pregnant. Awkward hilarijinks ensue.

Terrible movie, but it does have quite a few “Oh God,” moments. Play along with me, why don’t you? My very first “Oh God,” moment came at 00:19. You’ll see why. The second “Oh God” moment comes at 00:24, when I realize that 1) Vern has suddenly gotten old on me (sincerely) and that 2) he apparently gets his hair cut at Snip ‘n Shit. Yowzers:

Follow @pajiba

← Videos for New CBS Shows | Kris Allen Wins "American Idol" →

Comments

Damnit!! I couldn't help but laugh at the guy walking into the fart at the end.

Posted by: Eva at May 21, 2009 10:39 AM

I'm going to have to disagree with you here... This movie looks highly entertaining, and Jerry O'Connell is a highly talented and underappreciated actor. Jerry- why won't you return my calls? How about my Stand By Me 2 idea?

Sincerely,

Will Wheaton

Posted by: logar at May 21, 2009 10:40 AM

The only acting Heather Graham should be doing is taking off her top. Was that mysogginistical? Yes it was. And I don't care...

Posted by: Skitz at May 21, 2009 10:55 AM

Plus, if you lean in real close to your monitor, you can smell the botox oozing outta Lara Flynn Boyle's face. Was that mysticogginal? Maybe. And I don't care...

Posted by: Skitz at May 21, 2009 10:58 AM

Ugh. That looked horrible. I did laugh, in spite of myself, at the fat candy cane joke, though. I think that's pretty much the only thing the movie has to offer me, so I'm all set now. Thanks Dustin!

Posted by: tamatha at May 21, 2009 11:02 AM

Did Heather Graham really say, "So you think I'm fat?"

ZING!

Posted by: Caspar at May 21, 2009 11:28 AM

Baby on Board, something, something...Burt Ward.

Posted by: ecp at May 21, 2009 1:46 PM

That's it....

I'm writing. Anything and everything.

Posted by: antietam at May 21, 2009 1:50 PM

Skitz, not mysogginisticallydocious if it's true.

Posted by: figgy at May 21, 2009 1:58 PM

Is that Graham in the header picture? She sure looks different now than in my fantasies. And no, she can't act in my fantasies either.

Posted by: ed newman at May 21, 2009 2:10 PM

I always thought it was significant that Graham was only actually a big thing for like five minutes because, what, one or two movies that had talented directors and a really good cast (outside of her). The shit she was in prior to that was shit, the shit she's been in after that is shit, because she's a shitty actress who's been naked in at least 75% of her roles - this used to make me believe she knew what her limits were, and what she had to work with. Now I can't even be sure of that.

Posted by: Landon at May 21, 2009 2:21 PM

.....
.....
.....

....nope. Still doesn't kill my like/love/lust for Graham. That guest stinct on Scrubs went a looooong way.

The whole "making out with Bridget Moynihan" didn't hurt, either.

What can I say? I acknowledge my simpler tastes.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 21, 2009 4:32 PM

Jerry O'Connell for some reason always annoyed me...ever since Sliders. I just can't watching anything he's in, good actor or not. Therefore, if I had any liking for rom-coms (which I don't) I still wouldn't be looking at this.

Posted by: Four Eyes at May 21, 2009 4:52 PM

Looks like he went to the worst barber in North America and said, "Give me the Anton Chiguhr look."

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 21, 2009 7:14 PM

They ought to require that movies pass a "laugh test" before getting produced: If you will laugh at how awful and cliched the potential narration of the theatrical trailer will be, the movie will suck and should not be made.

That is an awful trailer.

Posted by: NF at May 21, 2009 10:24 PM

My uterus just imploded. Hardly seems worth getting disowned by your parents, Heather.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 21, 2009 11:42 PM

Watch out, y'all! Sassy gay assistant coming through!

Never before in cinema have I seen a sassy gay supporting character who works in the office of the female lead and provides nothing more than the occasional sardonic remark/finger snap/witty banter. How crazy! And sassy!

Posted by: Sarah at May 22, 2009 4:50 AM

The trailer started freezing up at about 50 seconds. I guess that guy with the tattered leather book and the obnoxiously loud voice at the bus stop was right; God really does love me. And here I thought he was just another homeless nutjob diligently pursuing my morning latte' money.

Posted by: altan at May 22, 2009 11:28 AM

H-O-T
Dating Networking Site

__SeekBi Co m___

Helps you find your ideal lover

Posted by: hotgirl at May 24, 2009 10:15 PM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

Oh, Vern Tessio. What Happened, Brother?

Comments