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10 Things We Learned From This Week's Monstrous Episode Of "Game Of Thrones": Spoiler Whore and Book Reader Edition

By Joanna Robinson | TV Reviews | May 15, 2013 | Comments ()


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Author's Note: Hey folks! We're back with a book spoiler-heavy "Game Of Thrones" rundown. If you're looking for eloquent or sophisticated analysis, I suggest you head on over to TK's superlative Monday recap. This post serves mainly as an outlet for all your pent-up frustrations at having to tip-toe around your book knowledge lest you spoil a "Game Of Thrones" newbie. So, in case it isn't clear, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED BY BOOK KNOWLEDGE OR SOME INSIDER SHOW INFO, GET OUT OF HERE. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN THE SEVEN 'ELLS ARE YOU DOING HERE? LEAVE LEST I SIC MY DRAGON ON YOU!

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Are they gone? Phew. Anything goes in the comments, folks. We're hoping this will help curb some of your urges to spoil in the regular recap. Have at it!--JR

1. Westerosi Sex Ed 101: Stick 'Em With The Pointy End: Between Tormund and Margaery, the virginal Stark kids got a lot of information this episode. Not to mention what that poor Greyjoy kid learned. I loved Kit Harrington's reaction here and his performance in this episode in general. I've said it elsewhere, but my current theory is that the arctic climate was really putting a damper on Kit's acting ability for the past season and a half. I mean, he made at least fivefacial expressions this week. At least.
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2. Tywin: I loved this scene. Of course it's not in the book, but the George RR Martin-written dialogue was unbeatably great. Not to mention the camera angles which lent Tywin that extra loom. It's odd, though, if you step back from the verbal smack down ("We could arrange to have you carried" etc.), to note that Joffrey's in the right in this instance. His concern for the dragons is valid and Tywin's dismissal naive.
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I mean, Christalmighty.
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3. The Slow Boat To Dragonstone: Westorosi cartophiles noticed that Melisandre and Gendry took the long, loooong way round from Riverrun (isn) to Dragonstone. This, I guess, was so she could gesture dramatically to King's Landing when she told the poor, dumb bastard where he came from. Necessary? A budgetary misstep?
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UPDATE: A reader just sent me this map. "Game Of Thrones" fans are the best fans. "The Blackwater Rush would be the fastest way to Dragonstone from Hollow Hill (see attached)."
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4. Isn't It Ironic?: Yes that is a nice necklace. Beware Lannisters bearing gifts, Shae. Also this is the first time I've felt sorry for Shae. I'm on record as not really liking Sibel Kekilli's performance but you could really hear her heartbreak and frustration in this scene. Was it foolish of her to expect more from Tyrion? Maybe. Was it sh*tty of Tyrion to expect to eat his lemon cake and have it too? Without a doubt.
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5. Speaking Of Tragic Performances: I thought Rose Leslie was a godamn delight this week, equal turns fierce and charming. As I mentioned before, I think Kit Harrington really brought his A-Game for the first time and I'm really buying these two together and his conflicting loyalties. Her loss will be keenly felt.
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6. Characters Getting A Short Shrift: Speaking of the Jon storyline, I've had several people mention to me that they feel Mance Rayder has gotten sidelined. Well, I don't know that they could have done much more with him in this season and I'm thrilled for all the material he has coming up. Selmy and Mormont, on the other hand, have basically been relegated to looking on with either approbation or consternation. I know there's some drama coming up for Jorah, but I don't like how he's been sidelined thus far.
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7. Nudity: The Good, The Bad, The Talisa: This was an odd episode for the ol' "Game Of Thrones" nudity. The Theon scene was, without a single doubt, gratuitous. The Robb and Talisa scene felt a bit more organic. (And who are we to complain here. I mean really?)
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And though the fall-out from the Theon scene was great (in regards to Alfie Allen's cringing, traumatized performance) the lead up was, well, excessive. Nonetheless, big ups for that wicked knife, Ramsay.
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8. A Bun In The Honeypot: Once again, our lady of Talisa is at the center of controversy. There are those that think the mere fact she was was writing a letter was in concrete evidence of her treachery. Did she told Robb she was pregnant just to f*ck with him? Or she is actually pregnant? Will she go to the Red Wedding and will both she and the baby die? Will she go to the Red Wedding and plunge a knife or two in some Stark men? Will she go to the Red Wedding and be saved at the last minute by the Blackfish? IS THE JEYNE WESTERLING IN THE BOOK NOT THE REAL JEYNE WESTERLING BECAUSE OF HIP SIZE? These and many more questions to be answered somewhere down the line. I hope she dies (for the pathos) or is a downright villain (for the drama).
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9. The Stark Girls Aren't Alright: Was this a little bit of fan service to the Margaery/Sansa shippers? If so, well played. Some didn't like the way Sansa was portrayed in this scene. They worried she came off as unsympathetic (and height-ist). I think she came off just fine. She's a scared teenager, not a villain.
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And Arya's now in the hands of The Hound. Are they painting her too dark? How much darker will she get after the Red Wedding?
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10. You made a bear! Undo it!: This, of course, was perfection. The entire Jaime/Brienne relationship has been perfection. Yeah, sure, the bear dies in the book but I'm not sure that was necessary here. Some called the whole sequence underwhelming but I thought it was astonishing. The performances from the actors and the digitally inserted (but very real) bear? Amazing.
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New Character Rundown:

1. Razdal mo Eraz: Ol' guyliner here did his job and was suitably cowed by Dany and those absolutely gorgeous dragons. I loved this scene. A real highlight.
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2. Steelshanks Walton: Though this fellow is a background character and we can't really delve into his whole backstory, this is an instance where I missed the rich character descriptions we get in the books. I so like knowing about Walton and his motivations, even if it all doesn't amount to much in the end.
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2. Locke's Single Solitary Bear: Played by Bart II. Brills.
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Best Line: Obviously. Also? Shut it, Osha. Please take Rickon and depart already.
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Runner-Up: Chills, right?
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Worst Line: I hated everything Orell had to say. Let's discuss how he tried to kill Ygritte just. last. week. So yeah, I hated all of that. But Mackenzie Crook's face? I could look at that thing all day.
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Favorite Random Image Of The Week
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Archives
Episode 2: Dark Wings, Dark Words

Episode 3: Walk Of Punishment

Episode 4: And Now His Watch Is Ended

Episode 5: Kissed By Fire

Episode 7: The Climb

Joanna Robinson is not even mentioning Bran this week. Lest she call asleep. Findher on Twitter, podcasting about "Game Of Thrones" or generally mucking about. Send a raven, won't you?

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