10 Things We Learned From The Red Wine Wedding Episode Of "Game Of Thrones": Spoiler Whore and Book Reader Edition
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10 Things We Learned From The Red Wine Wedding Episode Of "Game Of Thrones": Spoiler Whore and Book Reader Edition

By Joanna Robinson | TV Reviews | May 22, 2013 | Comments ()


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Author's Note: Hey folks! We're back with a book spoiler-heavy "Game Of Thrones" rundown. If you're looking for eloquent or sophisticated analysis, I suggest you head on over to TK's superlative Monday recap. This post serves mainly as an outlet for all your pent-up frustrations at having to tip-toe around your book knowledge lest you spoil a "Game Of Thrones" newbie. So, in case it isn't clear, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED BY BOOK KNOWLEDGE OR SOME INSIDER SHOW INFO, GET OUT OF HERE. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN THE SEVEN 'ELLS ARE YOU DOING HERE? LEAVE LEST I SIC MY DRAGON ON YOU!

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Are they gone? Phew. Anything goes in the comments, folks. We're hoping this will help curb some of your urges to spoil in the regular recap. Have at it!--JR

1. Sometimes They Throw Things In Just For You Book Nerds: There are obviously countless things from the books that don't make it into the show. Details and backstories and characters galore fall by the wayside. But every so often there are little details, little visual moments that seem tailor-made just for the book readers. In this episode, outside Sam and Gilly's lean-to, there was a Weirwood tree, as there is in the book. The significance of the tree is largely lost on Show Watchers so you can bet that little detail is just for you, folks.
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Similarly, the focus on Daario's dagger. Yeah they changed a lot about Daario, and we'll get to that, but I appreciate the fun the props department had with the hilt on this blade.
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2. Is Gendry A Never Nude? It's no mystery why they changed the interaction between the Baratheon Bastard and Melisandre to include a sexual encounter: to display Carice van Houten's considerable assets. We get it. "Game Of Thrones" loves naked ladies. But did she really engage in some coitus interruptus with Gendry while he KEPT HIS PANTS ON? Those are some pretty hefty nudity double standards.
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Important, probing question I've asked elsewhere. Which of the leaches do you think had the penis blood in it? Surely that's the most potent leech of all.
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3. Cersei Lannister, Diplomat I adore how much the Tyrell's get under Cersei's skin and how little effort she puts into concealing it. They're setting up Cersei's complete meltdown so beautifully and I cannot wait. No, Cersei was never a treat, but she used to have a better grip on her mask. It's slipping. I also loved that we got the story of "The Rains Of Castamere." That was fun.
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4. Things Are Looking Up For Arya, RIGHT?! Oh, poor Show Watchers. Arya's little smile as she and The Hound make their way towards The Twins? Gut wrenching. It's a similar bait and switch that we Book Readers felt, for sure. But I wonder when the Show Watchers are going to understand that there are no happy endings. For anyone. Ever. In two weeks, right?
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5. Sam The Slayer I really dislike the way they shuffled this plotline around. A) Sam needed to have his slayer moment in front of his fellow Watchmen. B) I much preferred how, in the book, Sam and Gilly are attacked by Wight Watchmen. Wouldn't the scene have resonated more deeply if Sam had been battling his old friends/foes? C) DID THEY REALLY NEED TO MAKE HIM LEAVE THE DRAGONGLASS DAGGER BEHIND? In the book the obsidian blade shatters during this encounter so it makes sense Sam would be without. But in this scene he just straight up leaves the blade on the ground causing Show Watchers to shake their head at what they perceive to be Sam's continued stupidity. However, the crows were amazing and I'm excited for Coldhands who has to show up in the finale. Right? RIGHT?
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6. Did Joffrey Pimp Walk Sansa Down The Aisle? The Kristen Stewart-esque lip bite was bad, but the pimp walk was worse. Add to that the stool prank and the little prima nocte rape threat and King Joff was in fiiiiine form. Makes you wish the Purple Wedding were coming next week instead of the Red, no?
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7. I Want To Sit Next To Olenna Tyrell At Every Wedding Of all the side characters that have been fleshed out for the show Olenna Tyrell is by far the best. Her little incestuous family tree rundown was pure comedy gold. (As were the sulky reactions from Margaery and Loras.) What do you think? Do you like the extra material they've given Rigg or do you feel the time spent on her would be better spent on other characters? Maybe more Bran scenes?
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8. The Dread Wedding: It's odd that they pushed this wedding back so far in the season but I'm glad they devoted as much time to it as they did. The interplay between all the key players (Stark, Lannister and Tyrell) was delicious. Dinklage, of course, stole the whole show but Sophie Turner's bleak little face should not be underestimated. Great stuff.
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9. Why On Earth Is Sansa So Distrustful Of Tyrion!?! Why indeed.
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10. Daenerys Targaryen: FoamBorn I was on my soap box a little earlier in the week about the nudity in this scene and how it's not in the book and blah blah blah boobs. In the meantime two excellent points have been raised in defense of the Khaleesi bath. a) There's that scene at the beginning of A Storm Of Swords where Dany is naked as a jaybird talking to Jorah in her cabin. Of course, that scene ends a bit differently than this one did and I'm not sure why we didn't get our Jorah/Dany smooch. But that's neither here nor there. b) There are many who think the contrast between the vulnerability of Dany's position and the strength she displays made for compelling television. What do you think? Gratuitous or no?
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New Character Rundown:

1. Mero aka The Titan's Bastard: God this guy was perfect. I regret we only had one episode with his piggishness.
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2. Daario: Well, okay, they screwed the pooch on the look here. Big time. Of course, Show Watchers would never have been able to take Daario seriously if he had showed up all gold mustachios and blue beards. P.S. TK sent me this amazing video of the actor who plays Daario rapping.
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3. That Third Mercenary: I'm not even bothering to look him up. His head made a satisfactory thunk, though. So that's nice.
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4. High Septon Pressley
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Best Line
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Best Dressed The costumers said they based Tywin's fancy coat on the white and gold leathers Jaime Lannister wore in Season 1. It's a gorgeous garment.
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Best Facial Expression
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Favorite Random Image Of The Week
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Next Week On Game Of Thrones
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Joanna Robinson is the God of Snits and Whine. Findher on Twitter, podcasting about "Game Of Thrones" or generally mucking about. Send a raven, won't you?



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