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When Should We Stop Calling Them "Girls"? The Coolest Chicks Of The Bond Flicks

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (43)

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News broke on Monday that British actress Naomie Harris is in talks to play Daniel Craig’s “sexy sidekick” in the upcoming James Bond 23 (working title). This is tremendously good news because while the gorgeous Miss Harris is obviously qualified for the “sexy,” I’m also hoping she puts the kick in “sidekick.”
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Harris earned her ass-kicking pedigree in Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later and has since been rather wasting her talents as the stupidly accented and bewigged Tia Dalma in the Pirates of The Caribbean franchise. And while the role of “Bond Girl” has a history of being a rather ridiculous, exploitative part for any actress (complete with silly entendre names, thank you so very much, Mr. Fleming), the parts for women in the Bond flicks keep getting better and better. The times they are a-changing. Slowly. Here are some of the coolest (not sexiest) women of the Bond franchise. Some favorites (including Xenia Onatopp) are missing because I do not vibe at all with the hyper-sexed/evil character. How many times has Bond been seduced and betrayed? Ten times now? Not very clever, 007.

9. Strawberry Fields: Even the “throw away” “love ‘em and leave ‘em” “oops she died creatively” characters are getting cooler.
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8. Vesper Lynd: Technically a seduce and destroy villainess, Vesper gets a mention for that last minute attempt at redemption. Oh and she’s delectably snarky.
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7. Tracy Di Vicenzo: The only woman to ever marry Bond.
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6. Honey Ryder: The prototype.
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5. Jinx: That stupid tangerine bikini non-withstanding, Berry’s Jinx is pretty tough.
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4. Natalya Simonova: A computer engineer, Natalya ushered in the new era of Bond females. Smart and intrepid, she obliterated all the eye-candy that came before her.
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3. Colonel Wai Lin: Just plain badass.
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2. Camille Montes: The only woman to not be seduced by Bond.
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1. M: Well, except for her.
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Joanna Robinson remembers when Denis Richards was a Thing. She’s really very grateful Denise Richards is a Thing no more.









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Comments

Perfect opportunity to introduce my favorite piece of Bond trivia:

Ian Fleming was living in Belgravia, in a beautiful 1830s building when the Hungarian architect Erno Goldfinger built a modernist residence just around the corner ruining (for those of us who love older buildings) the flow of the street. Fleming was so incensed he named his villain Goldfinger.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 8, 2011 4:09 PM

Well, I'd go with Tracy Di Vincenzo at number 1, but as long as she's on the list I guess it's fine by me.

Posted by: ed newman at June 8, 2011 4:13 PM

Wait, what? No Xenia Onatopp?? You fail, Robinson. You fail SO HARD.

PS She wasn't seduced by Bond, either.

Posted by: Samantha at June 8, 2011 4:17 PM

Harris earned her ass-kicking pedigree in Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later

Damn straight! Here's hoping she goes back to the Selena haircut as well.

Posted by: branded at June 8, 2011 4:31 PM

A little tilted toward the modern, and no credit of any kind should ever be given to Die Another Day.

Barbara Bach's Agent Triple X remains the coolest (and sexiest).

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 8, 2011 4:33 PM

How could you NOT mention Dr. Christmas Jones, etched indelibly into our memories by acting powerhouse Denise Richards??? I would argue that she belongs in a bond-chick category of her own:

the 9th-circle-of-dumb Bond girl.

Come on, it's at least entertaining to watch words come out of her mouth, no?

Posted by: Johnnyboy at June 8, 2011 4:37 PM

Die Another Day loses for having a "space laser" as its big doomsday device.

And no Dr. Holly Goodhead? Come on, she was a Doctor! (Avoid mentioning Dr. Christmas Jones please).

Posted by: Fredo at June 8, 2011 4:38 PM

Damn you Johnnyboy!!!

Posted by: Fredo at June 8, 2011 4:41 PM

And yet another "awesome Bond chicks" list inexplicably includes Honey Ryder, a complete waste of space who accomplishes nothing except wearing a bikini and getting Bond captured by Dr. No.

Posted by: Todd at June 8, 2011 4:53 PM

Olga Kurylenko is ridiculously good looking and has no problem posing fully nude. I love her!

Posted by: Allen at June 8, 2011 4:55 PM

Well, you know Darth, weighted towards the modern because the modern flicks have the better depictions of strong women.

Also, I saw Naomie Harris in the Benedict Cumberbatch/Jonny Lee Miller "Frankenstein" play and she was fantastic. Held her own against two powerhouse performances. She's immensely talented and I hope this means we'll see more of her. Though, being a Bond Chick is no guarantee of fame. Olga Kurylenko, where you at, lady?

Posted by: coveredinbees at June 8, 2011 4:56 PM

I was always partial to Fatima Blush and Plenty O'Toole (she was named after her father).

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 8, 2011 4:57 PM

Any list that does not include the delightful freak of nature that was Xenia Onatopp is indeed a complete fail.

Plus, the women of Quantum of Solace were AWFUL! probably the most forgettable out of all the recent Bond women.

Vesper was great though. I'll give you that.

Posted by: Derreck at June 8, 2011 4:58 PM

It was so thoughtful of Quantum to comb Strawberry Fields' hair back after covering her in oil. It gives her corpse that nice, tidy, f*ckable look. We call that The Angelus Touch.

Posted by: Forever Jung at June 8, 2011 5:07 PM

...still, please. Vesper Lynd would have been sexier played by Richard Kiel.

Posted by: Johnnyboy at June 8, 2011 5:10 PM

I like the Russian chick (Natalya) the best. She's spunky as all get out. Actually, she's probably the best part of that movie (with Famke Janssen a pretty close second).

Posted by: Slash at June 8, 2011 5:24 PM

Honey Ryder

Domino.

Posted by: Jay at June 8, 2011 5:35 PM

I'm confused. "Chick" is less offensive than "girl"?

Posted by: Scott at June 8, 2011 5:42 PM

If you must must choose a Die Another Day chick, go with the red head. That movie is sooo unrealistic though. Someone that hot would've melted the ice palace immediately.

And yeah, space lasers totally undermine a Bond film. It absolutely killed Dr. No and Goldeneye after all. Wait...

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 8, 2011 5:56 PM

Posted by: Scott at June 8, 2011 5:42 PM

It's offensive in a different way. At least a chick implies some maturity (ironic, I know). Girl means pre-pubescent.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 8, 2011 6:02 PM

What? No May Day in A View to Kill? Cool as Antarctica and tough as frozen taffy.

Posted by: Robert at June 8, 2011 6:06 PM

"It was only the once, and we were quite drunk."
~M

Posted by: The Mutt at June 8, 2011 6:07 PM

I'm sorry. They're "Bond Girls." Take your bra-burning equal pay right to vote somewhere else, lady.

Pussy Galore.

The End.

Posted by: ZombieMedic at June 8, 2011 7:11 PM

Pussy Galore, name aside, is the only Bond girl to date who actually played a bigger, more important role in ultimately foiling the villain's plans than 007 did (switching out the poison gas canisters). And in the third Bond movie, in 1964, to boot. I certainly don't see how the Quantum of Solace girls are cooler than that.

Posted by: Hector at June 8, 2011 7:25 PM

No May Day in A View to Kill?

I'm embarrassed that she didn't occur to me, because it's obvious..

Posted by: Jay at June 8, 2011 7:41 PM

Perfect opportunity to introduce my favorite piece of Bond trivia:

OK, here's my two, one old, one new. Apparently, simply the persona of Bond the world-famous super-spy had Fleming laughing as he wrote these. The first part of secret service being "secret" part, the whole thing is a kind of goof.

My new Bond trivia ... apparently Fleming changed Bond's preferred side-arm after some letters from a fan, Geoffrey Boothroyd, who happened to also be a firearms expert.

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/06/may-i-suggest-that-mr-bond-be-armed.html

http://mi6-hq.com/news/index.php?itemid=1670&catid=4&t=mi6&s=news

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoffrey_Boothroyd

Also, could there be a name more English than "Geoffrey Boothroyd?"

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 8, 2011 7:48 PM


... being *the* secret part, ...

I was distracted. Hot, smart women-folk and guns.

On point, I'm not so much a fan of the cartoon Bond. Seriously. In the middle of the run there, the series was like a live action version of a video game, without the video game.

The grittier Daniel Craig reboot is closer to the books (although admittedly they consumed all the stories Fleming wrote a while ago), which had more interesting and developed characters. My favorite "Bond Female" is Rhoda Llewellyn from the short story version of "Quantum of Solace." Bond barely figured in that story, so really hard to make a franchise movie out of that.

There's really two movie franchises that could be made from the Bond books. There's the blockbuster-y stylized spy stories, with pre-Beynis splody robot boobs. There's actually far more interesting and ambiguous set of character studies in the books. "For Your Eyes Only" and "From a View to a Kill" are very interesting stories, not even a little bit like the movies with those names.

Is it possible to dual-license source material?

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 8, 2011 8:02 PM

coveredinbees >> And that's exactly why Agent Triple X deserves inclusion. She kicked ass and held her own against Bond in the 70s in the midst of a bunch of other Bond chicks that were really just along for the ride. You're correct about that being sound reasoning for the modern emphasis; I just think the entire Brosnan Bond era deserves virtually no credit save for spawning one of the greatest video games ever.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 8, 2011 8:19 PM

Seriously, Honey Ryder? The chick who cowers and cries when a "dragon" approaches.... I thought she was the typical dumb bond girl.

Chicks like Pussy Galore and Anya Amasova had way more going for them then most that made the list.

Posted by: Sage at June 8, 2011 8:24 PM

OH Pierce Brosnan. Such wasted potential. I would see him when my sister would watch Remington Steele, and I thought he WAS Bond in that.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 8, 2011 8:25 PM

BierceAmbrose, appreciate the scoop on Daniel Craig. Not to run off on a tangent, but in my view he's second only to Sir Sean. Remington Steele was a bigger badass in The Fourth Protocol.

Posted by: Johnnyboy at June 8, 2011 8:32 PM

Hey Johnnyboy.

Pierce Brosnan's best performance was doing the contracted PR for his later Bond films. He acted like the movies weren't a joke. Held character for years, too.


On point, where's the love for the highly kick-ass Aki from You Only Live Twice?

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 8, 2011 10:28 PM

The Russkis were the best. Natalia (character is Russian) and Camille (actress is Russian). Even though Quantum of Solace was pretty much a throwaway.

Posted by: Parker at June 8, 2011 10:59 PM

You need Famke.

Posted by: stump at June 9, 2011 12:37 AM

Tracy was amazing. Oh, Diana Rigg....

Posted by: Caillan at June 9, 2011 1:36 AM

Holy crap, that's a great idea. I would love to see M and Bond hook up.

Posted by: Lucas at June 9, 2011 1:57 AM

My vote goes for May Day, played by the immortal Grace Jones. The only woman to flip Bond over and be on top.

http://eightiesmovies.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/viewtoakill.jpg

Posted by: earthmanjack at June 9, 2011 3:08 AM

I have seen similar about this expression. But it seems your's is unique and best.

Posted by: back pain at June 9, 2011 4:41 AM

I think it's pushing it to call Vesper a villainess. She was manipulated into secretly working with Quantum to protect her fiancee (or so she thought) and ended up making a deal to save Bond. His rampage in Quantum of Solace was to avenge Vesper, even when he knew she was a double agent.

Octopussy should be on the list though.

Posted by: TylerDFC at June 9, 2011 7:16 AM

OK...so with the exception of On Her Majesty's Secret Service and the awesomeness of George Lazenby...have you EVER seen a bond movie beyond the last 10 years?

What about Ms. Bouvier from License to Kill?!!? That chick was harsh...and HOT.

Posted by: PissBoy at June 9, 2011 8:18 AM

What the hell???? PUSSY GALORE!

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