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TotalFilm's 50 Worst Film Performances

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (64)

andie-macdowell.jpg

TotalFilm, now with snazzy new non-obnoxious slideshow capabilities, has unleashed its 50 Worst Film Performances of All Time (or, “50 Performances That Ruined Movies”) and, while it has many of those you’d expect to see on such a list, it’s is also deliciously fun. Some may take issue with Taylor Lautner’s performance in Abduction landing at number two so soon after its release, thereby depriving the performance of historical context, but me? I’m only surprised that it’s not number one. It’s the worst performance I’ve ever, ever seen on film.

But number one is really the crowd-pleaser. I’ll tease you with numbers 20 - 2, but I encourage you to check out the full list to see the bottom 30, as well as the worst performance of all time (and Pajibans are going to take issue with #21).

20. Chris Tucker, The Fifth Element

19. Sage Stallone, Rocky V

18. Elizabeth Berkley, Showgirls

17. Bruce Willis, Ocean’s 12

16. M. Night Shyamalan, The Lady in the Water

15. Jennifer Lopez, Gigl

14. Jon Voight, Anaconda

13. Mariah Carey, Glitter

12. Kevin Costner, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

11. Vinnie Jones, X-Men: The Last Stand

10. Denise Richards, The World is Not Enough

9. Tommy Lee Jones, Batman Forever

8. Morgan Freeman, Wanted

7. Madonna, Body of Evidence

6. Sean Connery, The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

5. Andie MacDowell, Four Weddings And A Funeral

4. Tommy Wiseau, The Room

3. Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean

2. Taylor Lautner, Abduction

1. See TotalFilm









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Comments

#5 could have been any of Andie MacDowell's movies - she's pretty much terrible in everything. But if you have to pick one, it's fair to say she bogs down that fantastic cast.

I'm surprised #45 wasn't higher on the list.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 2, 2011 12:11 PM

I think you are too hard on her.

Posted by: Elaine at November 2, 2011 12:20 PM

Everything with Shia la Boeuf.

Posted by: Ploppy Son Of Ploppy at November 2, 2011 12:23 PM

When I think of bad acting, I think of Maxine Bahns in The Brothers McMullen.

Posted by: sars at November 2, 2011 12:25 PM

People think Scanners is a serious film meant to have naturalistic performances? How odd. It's about head exploding psychic powers and scientific espionage. What part of that concept demands realistic acting?

Posted by: Robert at November 2, 2011 12:25 PM

I would move #20 to #1. Never, ever has a movie I was thoroughly enjoying ground to such as halt. To this day, I can only watch The Fifth Element on DVR so I can fats forward through all of Chris Tucker's scenes.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 2, 2011 12:27 PM

As Steve Dallas might have said: you people are tanked. Jon Voight was the best part of Anaconda.

Posted by: Pete at November 2, 2011 12:30 PM

I haven't even read the article yet, but best match of title and picture EVER!!

Posted by: NateS1973 at November 2, 2011 12:31 PM

As usual, a terrible list. Only lists compiled by Pajiba staff from here on out.

“50 Performances That Ruined Movies”

Did JLO really RUIN Gigli. Was it good without here in it? The Wicker Man was never going to be good, but at least Nicolas Cage made it a viral sensation.

Posted by: Will at November 2, 2011 12:33 PM

Andie is an actress whose movies succeed DESPITE her damp and dank presence: Green Card, Groundhog Day and 4 Weddings are among my favorites, yet they are great IN SPITE of her heinous wretchedness.

Is it raining? I hadn't noticed.

Posted by: klingonfree at November 2, 2011 12:38 PM

As much as I love Olyphant, Hitman was a horrible movie. I just pretend it didn't happen.

Posted by: Paultera at November 2, 2011 12:38 PM

Is Andie MacDowell acting? I hadn't noticed.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien-Harris-Burtka at November 2, 2011 12:40 PM

Yeah, having read it now, I'm with Will on a lot of these. You can't ruin a dungpile by putting more dung on top of it.

Posted by: NateS1973 at November 2, 2011 12:43 PM

Am I the only one who doesn't hate Tucker in The Fifth Element? He actually makes me laugh a few times.

But really, Keanu Reeves in Dracula isn't #1 or #2? Good lord, that performance is so atrocious.

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at November 2, 2011 12:50 PM

I've got to admit, I expected worse than some of these. Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean? I mean, he wasn't good, but it was hardly an epic trainwreck of a performance. Where's Nic Cage's fake southern accent in Con Air? Where's Keanu Reeves' masterful turn in Much Ado About Nothing?

Posted by: Artemis at November 2, 2011 12:52 PM

Not fair to single out Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls.
Everyone in that film should be at #1.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at November 2, 2011 12:55 PM

I don't even believe Andy MacDowell as a Loreal spokesmodel she is that bad.

Posted by: Nimue at November 2, 2011 12:56 PM

After checking out the list at TotalFilm, I noticed Hayden Christensen at #45.
Way too low.
Definitely another contender for #1.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at November 2, 2011 1:00 PM

Chris Tucker was one of the best parts of The Fifth Element. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a poopyhead.

Posted by: Lake at November 2, 2011 1:00 PM

Oh, I get it. They haven't seen I Know Who Killed Me.

Posted by: jM at November 2, 2011 1:03 PM

I really liked Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element. The whole movie is filled with manic, over-the-top energy that his character personifies. Having said that, I really should watch Wicker Man. I've yet to hear about, "THE BEES!"

Posted by: Bob Frapples at November 2, 2011 1:08 PM

The best parts of the piece were the "How it could have been rescued" suggestions. I can just picture Chris Tucker clucking and Demi Moore's breasts making cowbell noises!

Posted by: My Buddy Keith at November 2, 2011 1:10 PM

@Pete: Agreed. Jon Voight is hands down the best thing about Anaconda. He seemed to be the only actor aware that a movie about fighting a hundred-foot-long hyperintelligent snake need not be approached with the gravity of Schindler's List. I mean, come on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY2SeyY5K2k

That's awesome. And I haven't even talked about how (SPOILER FOR A MOVIE FROM 1997) he gets regurgitated by the snake in front of Jennifer Lopez and then winks at the camera.

On the other hand, if they wanted to nominate Mr. Jolie Sr. for Baby Geniuses or Bratz: The Movie, that would be more than warranted.

Posted by: thegardenhead at November 2, 2011 1:18 PM

I liked Chris Tucker in Fifth Element. Can't stand him in anything else.

Posted by: FyreHaar at November 2, 2011 1:26 PM

Chris Tucker in 5th Element? He's *supposed* to be like that. It's actually his only decent performance.

Posted by: jon29 at November 2, 2011 1:37 PM

Kev Smith and Garman actually added a bit to their podcast (Hollywood Babbleon) where people send in "good" actors acting HORRID in a movie. I give you one of their (and my) favs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXcgt6l_LcA
Oh Brosnan..

Posted by: Luke at November 2, 2011 1:38 PM

Chris Tucker in 5ifth Element is one of my favorite comedic performances in any movie ever. Yes he's annoying. That's his character. His character is supposed to be obnoxious and grating and inexplicably popular, and he plays the hell out of it.

Posted by: Alabaster Salamander at November 2, 2011 1:42 PM

I new Keanu would not emerged unscathed. I was hoping...

Posted by: Kirbyjay at November 2, 2011 1:49 PM

Chris Tucker in 5ifth Element is one of my favorite comedic performances in any movie ever. Yes he's annoying. That's his character. His character is supposed to be obnoxious and grating and inexplicably popular, and he plays the hell out of it.

Thank you. Couldn't agree more. I loved him in Fifth Element and his character fit right in with the style of the movie.

Posted by: beckster at November 2, 2011 1:51 PM

Yes to everyone supporting Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element - as Jon29 put it, "He's *supposed* to be like that". That is a successful performance, even if he failed to turn it off for anything else.

And the only problem with Morgan Freeman in Wanted was that he accepted the check. He wasn't bad in it at all.

Now Sofia Coppola *broke* The Godfather III with her performance. Mary Corleone needed to be the emotional center of that movie, and Sofia could not play that - I doubt if Winona Ryder could have, either.
~~~

Posted by: Meander at November 2, 2011 1:56 PM

YES to all the Ruby Rhod love. He was hilarious, and played it to the hilt.

Andie McDowell in ANYTHING is horrid.

BUT THE OLYPHANT???? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: dammitjanet at November 2, 2011 2:00 PM

Alabaster salamander is correct. I suppose somebody could feel the character ruined the movie, but there's no reason to think Besson didn't get exactly what he wanted from Tucker.

Posted by: icecreammang at November 2, 2011 2:01 PM

I know a lot of people hate that Freeman was in a movie as B-League as Wanted, but hearing Freeman say "shoot this motherfucker" makes the whole thing worth it in my eyes. Other than that, I mostly agree with the list.

Except number 50, I probably would've ranked number 50 in the top 10. I didn't think George Lucas could find an actor who could give a worse performance than Jake Lloyd, but Hayden Christensen found a way to be worse at something than a 10 year old. That's some divided by zero shit.

Posted by: Devil Child at November 2, 2011 2:28 PM

No one ever calls her out for it, but Zooey Deschenel is just as awful as Wahlberg in that movie.

Also, everyone talks about Sofia Coppola in Godfather 3, but have you people seen Peggy Sue Got Married? Christ, her skills actually improved by the time G3 came around.

Posted by: Courtney at November 2, 2011 2:40 PM

What about Pia Zadora in "The Lonely Lady?" Granted, that movie would have sucked ass even without her performance, and one could even argue that her performance was so bad that it makes the film a comedic gem to watch, but her acting is AWFUL. She pulled a Mariah Carey years before Mariah did!

Posted by: jimbob at November 2, 2011 2:40 PM

I remember watching Four Weddings and a Funeral in a theater full of women (with a few men presumably dragged in for the ride). The audience members were melting (Hugh Grant's stammering/downcast eyes/floppy hair thing hadn't yet worn out their welcome). Then _that_ line was uttered by Andie McDowell--total silence. It was _that_ bad.

Posted by: True_Blue at November 2, 2011 2:42 PM

How are Hayden Christensen and Sofia Coppola so low on the list? The whiny petulant take on Vader ruined any chance the prequels had (even though the writing of the love scenes was worse than some 8th grade plays.

As for Coppola, do you realize how bad you have to be to mess up a Godfather movie? That being said, Talia Shire gave her a run for the money, but she's sucked in everything she's done, including Jason Schwartzman.

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 2, 2011 2:54 PM

I'll join in the love for Chris Tucker in 5th Element. One of the funniest performances I've ever seen.

Andie MacDowell's worst performance was in Greystoke. She was so bad they had Glenn Close dub all of her lines. She's the Clinton Spilsbury of actresses.

Posted by: The Mutt at November 2, 2011 2:57 PM

Andie McDowell in Four Weddings.....is the fucking worst. I love the hell out of that movie but she comes so close to ruining it. Also, it's totally unbelievable that Hugh Grant's character would choose this woman with the personality of a wet coat over the best character in the movie-Kristen Scott Thomas's exquisite Fiona. I've hated McDowell ever since then and change the channel when I see that stupid Garnier ad she did.
No qualms with a near-perfect list except that Hayden Christensen and Sophia Coppola should be higher and where the hell is Angelina fucking Jolie for that atrocious performance in 'Alexander'. Seriously I could only laugh every time she came on screen. The movie was shit but her performance made it worse.

Posted by: severine at November 2, 2011 3:13 PM

As a huge fan of the Hitman video game franchise. F' everything about that movie.

Posted by: googergieger at November 2, 2011 3:21 PM

@Artemis: Where's Nic Cage's fake southern accent in Con Air?

I always describe that accent as "retarded, not Southern." Tie ah yellow ribbon on the old oak tree. This bohy is coming home to his fahm-ly, coming home, for-EV-AH.

I mean, Liam Neeson gets the accents and vowels all wrong, bit at least he's not US-born. Cage just makes up a new kind of language and a new kind of crazy for each movie.

Posted by: Markus at November 2, 2011 3:23 PM


sofia coppola makes andie macdowell look like meryl streep..

scarlet johansson can fill in many of the slots all by herself.

Posted by: snake at November 2, 2011 3:23 PM

Take Con-Air as one big grand joke with the big beautiful ribbon around it, that is John malcovich's performance. I love the movie and Nic Cage is just crazy in it.

"Cy" "Onara"!!

Posted by: severine at November 2, 2011 3:32 PM

Artemis and Markus, I truly love you, as I do all Pajibans, but do not make me choose between you and Nic Cage's performance in Con Air.

That performance was pitch perfect for that movie and never has any character made me want so viscerally to see a bunny put back in a box. I don't know if you realize this, but Cameron Poe was incarcerated solely for defending the honor of one, Miss Monica Potter. He then nearly died trying to get home to her because he refused to allow Baby O to go into anaphylactic shock once his insulin had been damaged. I guess heroic acts like that don't matter to you. (?!)

Anyway, your premise doesn't hold up because you seem to think that his character was supposed to be from a specific place in the American South. Incorrect. He is clearly supposed to be from the Hollywood concept "The South" and I'll have you know, he affects the accent perfectly. For other examples of perfect affectations of said accent please see James Van Der Beek in Varsity Blues, Anna Paquin in True Blood and Kevin Spacey in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.

Nic Cage and I await your apology.

Posted by: becks at November 2, 2011 3:54 PM

In retrospect, it must've been very hard for #21 to play that role so wooden and hollow, because he's really very charming in reality and most of his other roles. So mad props to him for being able to be the exact opposite of himself.

Posted by: AngelArm45 at November 2, 2011 3:55 PM

I love Andie McDowell, and hate to admit that she belongs on this list for that role.

Posted by: Morosey at November 2, 2011 4:07 PM

I love you, becks.
Con Air forever.

Posted by: severine at November 2, 2011 4:19 PM

Fuck ya'll, I love RUUUBYYYY ROD.

Posted by: Alexa at November 2, 2011 5:05 PM

Andie McDowell was not bad in that flick where John Travolta played the angel who smoked.

Posted by: Arkansan at November 2, 2011 6:22 PM

Showgirls is a terrible film, no doubt, but I'll admit to a fondness for Elizabeth Berkley as Nomi. Hell, at least she was trying to act, even if she never succeeded. Overacting, even flailing, thrashing and screaming, is still better than the flat affect of Andie MacDowell or Hayden Christiansen.

Years ago, my alma mater, Northern Arizona University, was contemplating the cancellation of its men's hockey program, to the consternation of many in the student body. The programming folks at the student theatre decided to run "Youngblood" in hopes of showing how important hockey is to young men. I'm pretty sure we all had Rob Lowe to thank for the program's elimination. (It's since been reestablished as a D-II sport.)

Posted by: PDamian at November 2, 2011 6:33 PM

I agree with becks - Con Air is great. Cage's accent is meant to be a caricature and it works perfectly in that movie. Everything in Con Air is turned up to eleven.

Posted by: Ballymena Bob at November 2, 2011 6:36 PM

Morgan Freeman, Wanted

BLASPHEMY

Posted by: Amanda6 at November 2, 2011 7:31 PM

I liked Chris Tucker in that movie.

And adding any role in the original Day the Earth Stood Still? YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!

Posted by: The Wanderer at November 2, 2011 7:34 PM

Can anyone honestly say words to the effect of: "Hayden Christensen? Oh, I felt his performance as Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels was actually better than the terrible acting job that X did in that movie, Y."

No, you can't. There is nothing worse. Hayden Christensen is Number One.

Posted by: Brian at November 2, 2011 7:44 PM

20. Chris Tucker, The Fifth Element

OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

There's 3 entire Star Wars prequels of bad acting, and TF cited Ruby Rhod ahead of Jar Jar Binks??

Fuck 'em. And their fat mommas.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at November 2, 2011 8:32 PM

Chris Tucker is the ONLY reason I watch Fifth Element. ZzzZZZzzZZZZ!

Posted by: idrathernotsay at November 3, 2011 12:14 AM

I wish people would leave Ruby Rhod alone. His effeminite ways made the Fifth Element for me, okay!?

Posted by: Candy at November 3, 2011 12:59 AM

I call shenanigans on this list. It contains movies that are aweful even without the listed performances and performances that were the only silver lining in an otherwise shitty movie. Sean Connery and Morgan Freeman are incapable of being bad, even in things like "The League..." or "Along Came A Spider". And "Body of Evidence" or "Showgirls" would not be better without Madonna or Berkley.

Also, Vinnie Jones did what Vinnie Jones does best in "The Last Stand". But his role was too small to actually influence the movie.

Posted by: FabMax at November 3, 2011 10:39 AM

Sofia Coppola is only #31?

Posted by: csb at November 3, 2011 11:36 AM

@Will - We're talking about "GIGL". That's a completely different movie.

Posted by: James at November 3, 2011 10:02 PM

"Is it raining? I hadn't noticed." Such a horrible blight in an otherwise wonderful movie. She's even bad in hair color commercials. UGH.

Posted by: Jifaner at November 5, 2011 12:39 AM

Berkley in showgirls was so bad I don't know how people on that set weren't constantly running to the toilet to hurl.

Ruby rod was one of the funniest comedic performances iv ever seen " I stopped smoking .. Father do you smoke??!"

Posted by: Dinka at November 6, 2011 2:24 AM

The top 100 could be filled by any of the SNL alumni, Nicolas Cage, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey in any of their roles of the last 20 years.

And Ruby Rhod Rocks, "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! Korben, sweetheart, what was that? IT WAS BAD! It had nothing! No fire, no energy, no nothin'! You know I have a show to run here, you know? Hmm? Hmm? And it must pop, pop, POP! So tomorrow from five to seven, will you please act like you have more than a two word vocabulary? It must be green, OK? OK?"

Posted by: TrickyHD at November 6, 2011 8:17 PM

YES. Haydn whatever is the worst EVER. But Angelina Jolie belongs on the list for Alexander. I liked her alot when that movie came out, but her running around screaming "Zeus is your father" in that ridiculous acdent - yikes! Although, Colin Farrel playing Alexander as a spoiled brat about to burst into tears was hellacious also.

Posted by: danielle at November 10, 2011 6:58 PM