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The Five Most Vacant Stares From the MTV VMAs

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (24)

robert_pattinson_announces_4th_twilight_movie.jpg

How do we know that the Twilight generation of actors has been sent from the future to steal our souls? They’re robots. There’s nothing behind the eyes, people. Look at their cold, dead stares. Their are no souls in the future, and these actors have been sent to take ours!

Never look at them directly in the eyes, folks. And guard your medicine.


Zac Efron

efronvacantstare.jpg


Tom Felton

harrypottervacantsmile.jpg

Taylor Lautner

lautnervacantstare.jpg


Kristen Stewart

kristenstewartvacantstare.jpg

Taylor Lautner 2

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Comments

*drooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool*

Durrrr me likey moooby!

Posted by: nadine at June 7, 2010 10:35 AM

Dustin, you're assuming there is a future, right?

Posted by: bignick at June 7, 2010 10:37 AM

Goddamn that Kristen Stewart. I swear to God, she has two facial expressions: That one, and that exact same one + biting lip.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at June 7, 2010 11:06 AM

(I like Tom Felton. I find him smexy. Don't tell anyone)

Posted by: coveredinbees at June 7, 2010 11:11 AM

At first I misread that "most vacant stars", but that would be a much longer list, wouldn't it?

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 7, 2010 11:12 AM

I'm honestly just amazed that you found a picture of Kristen Stweart where her mouth is actually closed. That girl is a creepy mouth breather.

Posted by: elleyezee at June 7, 2010 11:14 AM

Wow, Tom Felton looks like he wants to start in The Machinist 2!

And the sad fact is that most of Young Hollywood wouldn't know cool if it punched them in the face and stole the keys to their sports car and left with their moms.

BTW, I refuse to believe that this Taylor Lautner character is anything but a CGI/Stan Winston Studios creation. He's almost lifelike!

Posted by: Fredo at June 7, 2010 11:14 AM

@elleyezee

The people at Miracle Mouths are too terribly busy working on The Jessica Simpson Issue to devote the necessary time and manpower to Ms. Stewart. Rest assured, that her issues have been appropriately prioritized and we look forward to taking on this challenge.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 7, 2010 11:17 AM

You'd look that way if you had to watch all 102948 hours of the MTV VMAs in person too. Probably the only reason you didn't look that way was the liquor.

Well, someone has to speak for the youth!

Posted by: esme at June 7, 2010 11:49 AM

I still cannot unsee the llama or whatever.

Posted by: arrrghzi at June 7, 2010 12:18 PM

Please. These bitches couldn't hold a coma to Keanu. Stupid kids.

Posted by: admin at June 7, 2010 12:33 PM

I hate to admit it, but RPattz looked pretty delicious last night.

Posted by: figgy at June 7, 2010 12:49 PM

The captions for those pics are as follows:
1 Are farts lumpy?
2 What the hell is Efron doing?
3 Did Efron just shit his pants?
4 Ewww..what the hell is that smell coming from Efron?
5 Oh yeah...Efron totally just shat his pants!

Bonus Caption for the Header Pic:
Efron's the kind of bloke who'd shit his pants in public and not know it until he felt it running down his leg after he stood up to leave. God Damn I want a fish taco. Like NOOOOOOWWWWW!

Posted by: laredo at June 7, 2010 1:43 PM

To be fair I think that only Lautner is probably a steroid infused robot from the future. I think that Kristen Stewart is just stoned, and Tom Felton, whoever the fuck that is, is simply a sociopath.

Posted by: matt at June 7, 2010 1:55 PM

Who the fuck is Tom Felton? I've never heard of him and I don't care enough to Google him.

Posted by: stardust at June 7, 2010 1:57 PM

And laredo takes the top spot for next week's EE in 3.24 seconds. Looks like we're all playing for 'First Runner-Up' kids.

Posted by: PissBoy at June 7, 2010 3:10 PM

Mrs. Julien
CEO Miracle Mouths, Inc.
BigLips Lane, Whothefuckcares, OH

Dear Mrs. Julien,

While I understand your position at Miracle Mouths, I have to say that I simply cannot agree. It seems to me that you are overlooking the very real danger that Miss Stewart and her creepy mouth breathing presents to the general public. Not only do we have to see her face plastered on every magazine on the stands, we have to be exposed to the gaping cavern that is her mouth, and it is not pretty. Also, have you given thought to the fact that this young women is a role model for teenage girls? They see her mouth breathing constantly, and they begin to think that it is the only thing to do to make them "cool". We already have a generation of lip-biters in the works thanks to her, must we add this unsavory habit as well? I think not.

Please understand that should this matter not be taken into prompt consideration, I will have to remove my subscription to Miracle Mouths Magazine. Though I will miss the free samples of lip balm, I feel that I cannot continue to endorse a company that would brush something of this magnitude under the rug.

Yours respectfully,
elleyezee

Posted by: elleyzee at June 7, 2010 3:12 PM

Are they all the same person?

Posted by: The Wanderer at June 7, 2010 3:30 PM

Tom Felton is DRACO MALFOY, stardust. GAWL, how do you not know that!

Posted by: figgy at June 7, 2010 4:31 PM

Well, I guess I learned who Tom Felton is. That second Lautner appearance cracked me up.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at June 7, 2010 8:27 PM

@elleyzee

That was so awesome I am not even going to attempt a response.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 7, 2010 9:31 PM

Felton IS Skeletor!!!

WHY on earth is Kristen Stewart getting so many goddamn awards for portraying an AVERAGE girl when all she does is bite her lip and squint?

She gets on film and she is just HERSELF... no acting required! Yet she won a GODDAMN BAFTA!!!!! WHUUUT?!

I mean, Samuel L Jackson does the same thing but it works for the man a treat!

And he has more personality.

Which brings us to one awesome conclusion...

Samuel L Jackson would make one badass Bella Swan y'all!

Posted by: Camilla at June 8, 2010 4:48 AM

@The Other Agent Johnson

Did you make that clever little ditty up yourself? Or did you rip it off from the college humor video of K-Stew biting her lip that got infinite hits 2 years ago? Way to go champ.

Posted by: suckhole at June 8, 2010 11:37 AM

If Samuel was Bella, I might enjoy the Twilight series. I can see the Bella/Edward scenes now...also, when Bella punches Jacob (WHY DO I KNOW THAT?!) would just be silly.
Silly in an "I cry myself to sleep laughing" way.


Also, Efron was on an ep. of Firefly. He can't be ALL bad. Just mostly.

Posted by: Kelly at June 13, 2010 9:56 PM