Pajiba

Can we just lump in the entire casts of "Gossip Girl," "90210," "The Hills," and shit like that there? I'd like to play Clue with 'em all and take 'em out, Col. Mustard-style, in the lib'ary (cause you KNOW they can't read) with a lead pipe.

Also, Elijah Wood? Really?

I'm so torn. Jordan Catalano is still so goddamn hot, I'd do him in half a second flat. But oh god the doucheness. I'm completely at war with myself.

Awww, poor Elijah Wood. Leave him alone. He never gets invited to the Pretty Guy Pity Parties, give him a break.

You missed the king of all the douchey hipsters:

Wes Anderson

In addition, I'd like to add Adam Lambert from American Idol, Russell Brand, and any celebrity photographed wearing a scarf in the middle of summer.

Aw, I remember Adam Brody being all suprisingly adorable and lispy on 'Gilmore Girls' and then 'The O.C.' What happened to him? Where has he gone? Has he been in anything since that 'In The Land of Women' movie?

John Cusack, hands down. I used to wait on that guy all the time. He is king of the douchebags, as evidenced by his long-standing position as Piven's alpha dog.

I think some of you missed a key part of the title to this list. It's "HIPSTER douchester." If it was just "douchester," the list would be never-ending with the likes of Pete Wentz, and anybody from American Idol, 90210, the Hills, etc. . .. I don't really think of any of those people (?) as hipsters.

Elijah Wood is nice, fun and friendly. WTF did he do?

Lets see, you left out Pete Wentz, everyone from 'The Hills', Russell Brand, that guy who plays the vampire in 'Twilight' and everyone from 'Gossip Girl'

I vote for the removal of Elijah Wood and his replacement by Mister Demi Moore. That fucker made trucker caps trendy and continues to subject us to "Punk'd". What have you got against the E, you bastard?! Not to mention the unfortunate facial hair and stupid Twitter debacle. This guy should be the king of your list!

(Clearly, I am too cranky to type his name right now. Bastard.)

I've never understood Chloe Sevigny. She looks like she might smell of pee.
Plus, she's touched the dingle of The Hipster King himself, Vincent Gallo.

Coincidentally, he looks as though he might smell like pee too...

Jared Leto just looks like he needs to have his ass beaten. No one over the age of thirty should be allowed to enter a Hot Topic. You, good sir, are a shitpile...

I would also like to add my vote for Elijah Wood's removal from this list.
That is all.

Aren't the terms hipster and douchester synonymous?

I want Zach Braff up there...state. As to Chloe, say what you wish about her personal taste, but she is a very good actress. I actually appreciate that she's willing to wear some unflattering shit for the sake of style (even though I really don't like her style). It beats Aniston and her tired black dress/straightened hair look.

Skitz;

Listen to the Dandy Warhols' "Bohemian Like You".

Elijah doesn't belong on this list because I love him and his pretty, pretty big blue (guyliner-free) eyes.

Aww, hindulovegod, I had always hoped that the rumours of John Cusack's douchebaggery had been greatly exaggerated. *sadly but firmly crosses him off freebie list*

And you Jay are of course invited to fatally choke on my cock.

Count me in for voting Elijah Wood OFF the list.

1. He's not a hipster, he's a geek.
2. He's not a douchbag.
3. He's kinda cute, and very talented.

I also move to take Elijah Wood off the list, but only because he's adorable and looks like a bushbaby.

Hayden Christensen, hipster? I just don't think of him when I hear the word hipster. Now Jared Leto, that's a hipster douchester choice I can get behind!

I vote to take Elijah Wood off the list as well. He's just too darn adorable to hate. Ashton Kutcher however ought to be made the Lord Douche of Douchester.

Hayden Whatshisdoucheface HAS to go down in history as the assclown who ruined Darth Vader.

Frodo? reaaally?

Cloe Sevigny should just get recognition for gargling on that bum's rancid man-milk. Seriously, I have more respect for porn actresses and strippers. You AIN'T NO ICON honey! you are just a whore.

My guess about Pete Wentz being omitted from the list is because he's more of an emo douchester than a hipster douchester. Slight difference.

Another vote to remove Elijah Wood from this list. He's way more geek than hipster, and is in no way douchey.;) There are other, far more credible candidates out there like Sir Pete Wentz of Doucheville, Ashton Kutcher, Vincent Gallo, and the Olsen Twins.

Good call on Jared Leto, though. He's like the king of the hipster douches. ;)

Hayden Christensen is not nearly high enough, god I hate that guy. Jake Lloyd out acted him, a nine year old average actor for his age looked like motherfucking James Earl Jones next to Hayden Douchtensen. My hatred for him is limitless, but he did improve his performance in the third movie, so he gets that much... but just barely.

I would also like to vote for Woods removal, and have him be replaced by Pete Wentz, or Wes Anderson. Thank you for saying it Pink Hulk, I fucking hate Wes Anderson. His films are not funny or entertaining, and he thinks of himself as some sort of god. I know that around here, saying that is dangerous, but I HATE WES ANDERSON.

Like it's Wes's fault.

I love that Zach Braff is doing the voice of a dog selling toilet paper adverts now.

I hate being old. I belong to the Old Lady Who Doesn't Even Know Who These Preschoolers ARE group.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 6, 2009 7:18 PM
--------------------------------------------

A hipster is whomever the fuck we say it is.

Got that, grandma?

Ooooh BSlim, you just got served. By Grandma.

P.S. Pull up your pants, son.

Ahahhahahahhahahhahahhahha!

Aaaaannndddd all the votes are in! We the pajibites vote to have Elijah Woods remived from this list. Some mistake has obvioulsy been made, like identity theft or something. Did somebody commit douchey crimes in his name?

I need to know!

A few days ago, I took my daughter to see Fallout Boy (her shitty dad bought her the tickets, and then went to rehab in Florida...I couldn't disappoint the kid...she's a big fan).

Pete Wentz declared that he would no longer be offended by being called a douche, because a douche was a hygienic product, so it was really a compliment.

Does that move him up any higher on the list?

Since when does emo=hipster? Get your stereotypes straight.

I too am uncertain as to what a hipster is, as I am old.

My best guess:
A financially solvent individual, probably in their twenties who wears crappy clothes "ironically", has questionable grooming habits and possesses the demeanor of a smug asshat.

Is that right?

I enjoy the odd dollop of Douchestishire sauce myself.

Why is Elijah Wood on this list?!?! Did he run over your puppy or something?

Someone PLEASE tell me what a hipster is. I mean a bona fide actual definition of the term. Is the connotation completely negative or can you be a GOOD hipster? If it's totally negative, then wouldn't hipster and douchenozzle be repetitive? Unless douchenozzle is a subgenre of the hipster collective?
I hate being old. I belong to the Old Lady Who Doesn't Even Know Who These Preschoolers ARE group.
Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 6, 2009 7:18 PM
---
Maybe this'll help:

Maynard G. Krebs

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 6, 2009 9:40 PM

The Dobie Gillis Seal of Approval, CommaDaddy!

Elijah Wood should be granted clemency on account of the fact that he seems to have a kind of earnest or honest quality about him, whereas the others all go for that ironical 'I'm not trying cause I'm just too cool' thing.

I too am uncertain as to what a hipster is, as I am old.

My best guess:
A financially solvent individual, probably in their twenties who wears crappy clothes "ironically", has questionable grooming habits and possesses the demeanor of a smug asshat.

Is that right?

Posted by: malechai at May 6, 2009 9:33 PM

If this is true, then the guy in the cube to the right of me is the KING of hipster douchebags in Indiana. "See, I am wearing my Members Only jacket ironically, but that guy is wearing his for real (actual quote)." Really? WHAT'S THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE?

Add my vote to taking little North off the list. He a) can actually act; b) seems to be a nice enough guy (anybody remember his run-in with douchester Leto???; c) you can put him in your pocket.

Please, PLEASE add Asston and Vincent "blow me" Gallo!!!

True hipsters existed only in the 60's -- everyone on this list (add Wentz and Hawke, delete Wood) is a poseur.

ALMOST everyone, right, Ralphie? Ralphie?

*shakes Ralphie. shakes Ralphie harder*

Uh-oh ...

For those unsure of what a hipster is, you might get a better idea by looking at all the shots of hipsters in the wild at look at this fucking hipster dot com

Pete Wentz declared that he would no longer be offended by being called a douche, because a douche was a hygienic product, so it was really a compliment.
Does that move him up any higher on the list?

Yeah, because he bit that line straight from Wet Hot American Summer, so he is not only a douchebag, he is an unoriginal douchebag. Plus no one can deny his hipster-ness because he is Jared Leto's eyeliner wearing protege. I think he should replace Elijah Wood here.

Please tell me that Adam Brody is wearing a costume for a role he is playing in that picture. Because if that is the case I totally vote for his removal as I also share in the Adam Brody love. I wanted to do naughty, dirty, and possibly illegal things to Seth Cohen back in the OC days. BUT if he willingly wore that out in public because he thought it was cool/ironic then he is the definition of a hipster douchebag.

And I really liked Hayden Christensen in Life as a House. But then again, I just really loved that movie so anyone involved gets a lifetime pass from me.

Ibridini,

Braff made a movie about a thoughtful, sad, misunderstood movie star who just wanted to be loved starring himself.

Thank god he only ruined The Shins with his carefully placed soundtrack, if he had chosen someone good, like Guided By Voices or similar, the gods would have punished him.

Jason Schwartzman should have been #1.

Word on the street is that poor lil Frodo has a monster longtime smack problem, can't shake it. More to be pitited than scorned. just sayin/