(Publisher’s Note: As the holidays approach, I thought it timely to resurrect this old post so you know what to avoid watching with your folks this holiday season.)
Requiem for a Dream: To avoid having to explain to your mother what ass-to-ass means (if the graphic depiction of it doesn’t fully explain it), offer to get up and fetch a snack during the last five minutes of the movie. However, I wouldn’t offer fudge.
Happiness: Here’s a movie conversation you never want to see unfold while watching a film with your own father: Billy to his Dad, after his pedophile father has been caught molesting his elementary school friends, “Would you ever fuck me?” The father’s reply: “No. I’d jerk off instead.” Not exactly tailor made for a perfect father-son bonding experience.
Spanking the Monkey: Again, probably not a movie you’d want to discuss with your mother afterwards, not unless you have a serious Oedipal attraction and you’re trying to loosen up your mother to have that conversation you’ve been meaning to have about how much you want to make love to her.
A Serbian Film: For reasons elucidated in Prisco’s review, you probably don’t want to accidentally find yourself watching this movie alone, much less with a parent. However, it’s doubly crucial, I’d imagine, to avoid The Serbian Film if either you or your mother is pregnant.
Y Tu Mama Tambien: Here’s why, if you’re a dude, you never want to watch this movie in front of either one of your parents: Because you never want to have to try and explain why you’re holding a pillow over your lap while you’re sitting next to your mother.
Crank: I love Crank. Crank is fantastically fun. But nobody really wants to watch Jason Statham fuck Amy Smart up against a newspaper stall in a busy Chinatown street with their Mom. Or worse: Their Dad. What if he enjoyed it?
Boogie Nights: Particularly the “I am a star” scene, in which Mark Wahlberg pulls out his prosthetic cock, mostly because you know your parents have seen yours, and the idea that … well, never mind. Let’s just say: Awkward.
Secretary: I really don’t care how open minded or liberal your parents are, or how free they are to talk about sex with you, no child wants to watch Maggie Gyllenhaal be spanked repeatedly by her boss in front of their parents. What do you say afterwards?
Clerks 2: You never, ever want to watch a donkey show in front of your parents, and then have to explain to them afterwards why — despite the donkey show — you thought that the movie had a lot of heart.
Bruno: A hardcore gay pygmy sex scene involving fire extinguishers, champagne bottles and fitness equipment? I would especially not recommend this to your parents on the same weekend you come out of them. “No, Mom! I don’t bleach my asshole.”
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
Nice list, but I'd also like to recommend Bad Boy Bubby or anything with Vincent Gallo in it. Shudder.
Posted by: Bumwee McGee at September 7, 2010 2:45 PM
Yep. Guess who saw Bruno with their parents. First off that movie was awful. But, so awkward. You can't laugh and if someone does laugh than it's uncomfortable cause why did they think it was funny? My mom cringed the whole time.
Also-I saw Team American with them. The doll sex while funny. Not so funny with your mom, dad, and boyfriend all watching it.
Posted by: Nimue at September 7, 2010 2:45 PM
I saw "Exit To Eden" in the theater with my mom and brother. I was probably 12 or so.
My parents love the Crank movies. When I was visiting & it came on tv, they had me watch it with em. Hm.
Posted by: A. Marie at September 7, 2010 2:52 PM
Hell I won't watch anything more challenging than romantic comedies with my mom, and then only the Tom Hanks movies, because anything else makes me uncomfortable as hell. We usually stick to 50s romances.
With my dad? Nothing with any sex or nudity or probably even hot women. Because more likely than not he'll make some lewd comment about them and I'll get all disgusted and leave the room. We stick to Big Badaboom movies, mostly.
The 40-Year Old Virgin. I almost watched it with my parents, my aunt, my cousin, and my great-uncle.
Posted by: Ray Ray at September 7, 2010 2:56 PM
I took ,daughter to see "Borat."
That was close.
Posted by: , at September 7, 2010 2:58 PM
I can say from personal experience that The 40-Year-Old Virgin would fit right in on this list.
Posted by: sansho1 at September 7, 2010 2:59 PM
Wet Hot American Summer certainly fits onto that list, if only for the gay love scene in the rec shed. And yes. I have watched this with my parents. Love that movie, but man, that was horrifically awkward.
Posted by: deadbrilliant at September 7, 2010 3:02 PM
Wild Things. Saw it with my ex-husband and his parents. Yup, that was awkward.
And when I lived with my dad, he always walked into the room when someone was swearing up a storm in any movie I was watching. He'd just say in Spanish, "They are talking dirty. I have to leave."
Posted by: Shu Shu Fontana at September 7, 2010 3:02 PM
No Showgirls?
I remember my parents going to see that together and dropping my little brother and I off to see The Big Green.
Posted by: Snrub at September 7, 2010 3:09 PM
I watched "Splice" in a movie theater sitting right between my folks. Nothing like a quasi-incestuous pedophilia scene and an actually-incestuous gender-bending rape-scene to bring about family togetherness. *shudder*
Posted by: Lois at September 7, 2010 3:10 PM
I watched Clerks 2 with my parents. I dunno, it wasn't that big of a deal. It doesn't even really show anything. I'd replace that with The Dreamers or Last Tango in Paris.
Posted by: Hector at September 7, 2010 3:10 PM
Back when HBO was new, and you had to wait 15 minutes for the movie to start while you watched a video camera strapped to a bicycle wander through a park while the clock ticked down, and you sat there and watched it because it was the best thing on, and then the movie came on, and . . .
take a breath, and continue . . .
I don't care what I was watching, the moment there was a sex scene my Mom would just happen to wander into the room. Then she'd sit down and watch the rest of the movie with me.
This was the 70's and every damn movie had a sex scene whether it needed one or not. And Mom had perfect fucking timing.
Posted by: BWeaves at September 7, 2010 3:12 PM
Soooooooooooo yeah. I saw Requiem with my Dad. We have similar tastes in movies so we go to them together quite often, but had been on a string of viewings that included lots of naked boobs.
So my dad calls me up and says, hey this looks interesting (we had both seen Pi and loved it) and off we go.
We both got tout to the car afterwards and sat in silence for about 10 minutes. First thing out of my dad's mouth was "So-when is Disney coming out with a new film?"
Posted by: meh at September 7, 2010 3:12 PM
My Dad and I watch a lot of movies together and there have been a lot of awkward moments. Of this list, we have only watched Crank together, and ya, uncomfortable. We also used to watch Nip/Tuck together but it became way too weird.
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut with my mother on opening weekend. My brother was so embarrassed she insisted on watching, he refused to go. So, I went alone with my Mom, and then with my Mom and my brother's crew the next day. She loved it, but was I ever mortified when Uncle Fucker started playing.
My parents. Took me. To see. Jungle Fever. IMDB tells me I was ten.
Posted by: coveredinbees at September 7, 2010 3:18 PM
Oh, I beg to differ on "Spanking the Monkey" only because my mother's dawning realization of what was transpiring was comic gold. "Oh, no...that's not...is it?...Oh, Jesus Christ Mary and Joseph...."
Posted by: samantha t at September 7, 2010 3:24 PM
I have three:
*the first 5 min of 'Life as a House' ( my aunt, 2 cousins, mother and I watched a VHS from HBO...thankfully the tape had to stop and rewind back to the beginning JUST as Hayden was putting the belt around his neck)
*Chasing Amy (watched with my godmother)
*A smudgy, thumbprinted disc of 'Mulholland Drive' which, while viewing with my 3rd mom, kept hanging up at the 'switching realities/boob on boob/angry masturbation-pancake shaker commercial scene.
Posted by: anitra at September 7, 2010 3:25 PM
Saw Requiem for a Dream with my mom. When I was like, 14 or so.
Other awkward film to watch with your mom when you're that age? Monster's Ball. "Make me feel good" is now just... well, awkward.
I've watched a lot of movies with my folks. Serious movies, comedies, action stuff, crap (Clash of the Titans for example). One night I was watching Mulholland Drive and lo and behold, my mom walked in while Naomi Watts was busy taking care of herself.
Awkward explanation followed.
Posted by: Fredo at September 7, 2010 3:27 PM
I'd like to offer up Boxing Helena as a film never to watch with your parents, or probably just don't watch it ever.
I swear when I first glanced at that screencap I thought it was two random people in the stands at the Kentucky Derby celebrating victory.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 7, 2010 3:31 PM
The Savage is Loose (1974).
George C. Scott and his real life wife, Trish Van De Vere and some kid who plays their son are stranded on a remote island with no way of ever being rescued. As the boy gets older, sexual tensions emerge.
My best friend and I, and of course my Mom (who walked in during the sex scened where Trish Van De Vere has sex with the camera) kept yelling at the screen, "Just fuck your mother, already!" And that's how the movie finally ended.
Posted by: BWeaves at September 7, 2010 3:35 PM
Um, I don't recommend watching Friday with your Mom.
We began it, but wound up turning it off shortly thereafter.
Posted by: Gem at September 7, 2010 3:37 PM
yeah, i brought my mom to splice cuz she likes sci-fi. nobody warned me. I now do my due diligence if I'm gonna bring her to a movie. stuff from disney and pixar is usually safe
Posted by: idleprimate at September 7, 2010 3:38 PM
A German film called, "Maybe, Maybe Not" with the tag line, "Can a man be too sexy for his own good?". It starts with a couple's dirty home movies, moves on to bathroom stall sex, has a scene with leather daddies in a gay porn theater, a bathtub sex scene involving "bull spay," two duds and a chick, and many more I have blocked out. I was 14. Tops. My German teacher was also in the audience. I still flush with shame thinking about it. But god, I love that movie so hard.
Posted by: Nurse EagerBeaverBaby at September 7, 2010 3:38 PM
The Passion of the Christ. When the lights went up I couldn't get out of my seat, I was so hard. I had to make up some lame excuse about dropping my keys.
Wait, what?
Posted by: superasente at September 7, 2010 3:58 PM
My parents are quite aware of my particular tastes in the motion pictures. Therefore, they know that if they choose to watch a movie with me they should be prepared for anything and that an explanation (awkward or not) will not be forthcoming after the feature.
Posted by: admin at September 7, 2010 4:06 PM
My mother passed away five years ago, but my dad and my brother still get a kick talking about the first R-rated movie they took my brother to when he was fourteen... 'Deliverance'.
My mom and my brother couldn't look at each other for days afterwards!
Posted by: abliac at September 7, 2010 4:09 PM
Movies I wouldn't watch with my parents now, but watched with them back in the day with full-on uncomfortable awkwardness:
The Hunger
House on Sorority Row (the 1983 original)
Eddie Murphy's Raw
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Basic Instinct
Posted by: Neo at September 7, 2010 4:16 PM
Young People Fucking.
Friends and reviews: "Oh, the title's so misleading, it's not really about sex. Oh, it's such a good movie, you need to see it."
Brain: "If I go with my parents, I don't have to pay for the ticket or food..."
The Postman Always Rings Twice (the Jack Nicholson/Jessica Lange version) full frontal nudity and masturbation -- awkward.
Posted by: Finn at September 7, 2010 5:05 PM
I saw The Crying Game with my folks, that was an experience. I also watched Spaking the Monkey with my Mom while my step-dad was out of town...needless to say it was an akward few hours/several days.
Posted by: Marcus at September 7, 2010 5:07 PM
I think it would be easier to come up with ten movies I WOULD be able to watch with my parents without getting uncomfortable.
Posted by: Mr. P at September 7, 2010 5:10 PM
I also watched Spaking the Monkey with my Mom while my step-dad was out of town...
WOW-chicka-BOW-BOW...
[Marcus enters through front door holding pizza]
Marcus: Gosh it's hot out there! I'm so sweaty!
Mom: [comes from kitchen with dripping, icey beverage] Tell me about it. This tank top is just clinging to my natural breasts.
Marcus: I think I might just take this off to get more comfortable [begins to strip shirt from off muscly bod]
Mom: Here, let me help you, son [she helps]. Oh my, aren't you getting big. Why, you're bigger than your stepfather!
Marcus: Yes. I have been working out everyday before I go to work at the Pizza Place.
Mom: I can tell [devours chest with eyes]!
Marcus: I got us a movie to watch tonight, Mother. It is called "Spank the Monkey." I was worried that I might not be able to rent it, but then remembered that I am 18!
Mom: Yes. You are my 18 year old son.
Marcus: Since my step-father is out of town all weekend, I thought we could watch it together.
Mom: And we will! Let me...stick it in. [she leans over and slides movie into DVD player] bu-nuh--
chick-a-bu-nuh-BOW-BOW
Posted by: superasente at September 7, 2010 5:26 PM
I've watched The 40 Year Old Virgin with my parents, and it was fine. It was the watching it with my born again Christian uncle that really made the mood feel awkward.
And I'm surprised no one mentioned Salo. That's like the supreme messed up movie that would cause your parents to send you to therapy and have them vomit during the 'Circle of Shit' sequence. Need I say more?
Or put on Irreversible and see their reactions. Think Salo in terms of its messed up violence, but substitute Salo's artistic merit and just add homophobia and exploitation.
My cousin went to see...um, I think it was the 40 Year Old Virgin with her mom and mother in law.
At some point in the film, the characters were discussing a certain act that was referred to by its initials. Her mom leans over and whispers, "Bernadette, what's a BJ?" She awkwardly explains. A few minutes later, her mother-in-law leans over and whispers, "Bernadette, what's a BJ?" Repeat explanation. I can only imagine what shade of fuchsia her face must have been at that point.
Posted by: meaux at September 7, 2010 6:09 PM
Oooh I got one: Brokeback Mountain. With my dad, specifically. He's such a disgusting homophobe sometimes, I think he made a bunch of stupid horrible jokes just at the trailers and whenever the subject came up. I love my dad but sometimes he grosses me out.
I watched Chasing Amy with my mother. Or, more accurately, I watched about 10 minutes of it with my mother and saw the rest in fast-foward mode.
Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 7, 2010 6:30 PM
Figgy, in my experience, the ones who make the worst jokes are almost always the ones with something to hide.
Posted by: Ed at September 7, 2010 7:05 PM
I watched years of Sex and the City with my sister and mom. You think ass to ass is bad, try watching Kim Cattral fuck on a swing in your living room. I shudder at the memory.
Posted by: SaBrina at September 7, 2010 7:07 PM
91/2 Weeks Angel Heart
My father and I watched Angel Heart on HBO together. Lisa Bonet gave my father and me boners.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 7, 2010 7:10 PM
Angel Heart = added to Netflix.
Wait, that almost sounds creepy given the context.
Ah, fuck it. I want to know what get's Tracer hard.
Posted by: superasente at September 7, 2010 7:27 PM
Saw BOTH CRANK movies with my mother. She loves them. And Jason. She yells at him to take his shirt off. She is in her mid 60s
Saw Clerks 2 with my dad. Who likes Kevin Smith movies.
Posted by: Sean at September 7, 2010 7:41 PM
"Nice list, but I'd also like to recommend Bad Boy Bubby or anything with Vincent Gallo in it. Shudder."
Posted by: Bumwee McGee
I actually watched Bad Boy Bubby with my dad, er, Bumwee.
He really enjoyed it and we had a great discussion of it.
Of course, when Vincent Vega shot Marvin in the face in Pulp Fiction, my dad and I were the ONLY ones in a packed cinema who laughed, and we laughed hard.
I miss my dad.
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Posted by: yutatr at September 7, 2010 8:53 PM
When I was 11 my best friend's mother took me, him, and his 6 year sister to see a matinee showing of Conan the Barbarian. (yes, I'm that old)
My friend and I loved it. His mother and little sister, not so much...
Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at September 7, 2010 9:45 PM
Hector--right on with Last Tango, id est the butter scene. I'd rather chew glass.
Posted by: Ray Ray at September 7, 2010 10:06 PM
Kilted Yaksman >> Not verbatim but approximate quote from Arnold during the Conan DVD commentary track: "I sure had a lot of sex in this movie, didn't I?"
Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 7, 2010 10:15 PM
I just watched "Chloe" with my mom and step-dad...and that was probably the most uncomfortable I've ever been. There wouldn't have been a hole deep enough to hide in...that's how uncomfortable.
Posted by: citizen_cris at September 7, 2010 10:25 PM
My mom and I went to see Cruel Intentions when I was 13 . . . she commented on the fact that Ryan Phillipe had a cute butt. I didn't feel comfortable with looking at a guy's nude butt at that age, let alone knowing that my mom liked one.
This isn't a movie or my parents but we used to do a movie night at work every once in a while. My boss and I were a little early so one of our subordinates put in Dexter to watch while we were waiting. It was one of the ones from the second season that began with Lilah and Dexter having lots of sex, and then he walked out, leaving the two of us in the room alone together. Awkward.
Watching Burn After Reading with my grandmother was one of the more awkward movie experiences of my life. You know how George Clooney's character enjoys amateur engineering, right? When the result of his labors are revealed my grandmother wouldn't shut up about the filth.
Posted by: Maureen at September 7, 2010 11:03 PM
And Mom had perfect fucking timing.
Posted by: BWeaves at September 7, 2010 3:12 PM
---
Speaking of, I was watching "Pret-a-Porter" late one night and just as the nekkid models started strolling the runway, Mrs., wandered out of the bedroom.
I had some splainin' to do.
Posted by: , at September 7, 2010 11:15 PM
I saw Before the Devil Knows You're Dead with my dad. I'm pretty sure Marisa Tomei is clothed for only one scene. And there's a surprising amount of Phillip Seymour Hoffman as well. The intense awkwardness of their opening sex scene was not helped by the group of older women behind us loudly wondering if the movie had started yet, because there hadn't been any opening credits.
I also just finished watching the first season of Deadwood with my dad. I have never focused so hard on the content of a monologue as when Ian McShane was talking about his orphanage background while getting blown by a whore. Luckily my dad also decided to pretend that that hadn't happened. But during our entire conversation afterwards, I don't think we looked at each other once.
Posted by: KRB at September 8, 2010 12:01 AM
I watched "The Last Picture Show" at night with my dad ... we were both sitting on the same couch. It was probably the most uncomfortable I've ever been with my dad.
Posted by: Betty at September 8, 2010 12:58 AM
My brother used to bring over screeners when we would have dinner at my mom's house. One time he brought 8MM. If I could have the power over space and time, that would be 2 uncomfortable cringe inducing hours watching that with my mother that I would erase.
BTW, I saw Spanking the Monkey by myself and I screamed in terror. It shook me for a long time and it really freaked me out.
I accidentally watched The House of Yes with my brother when I was about 17. There are no words to describe how uncomfortable that was.
Posted by: thecreepingkid at September 8, 2010 2:09 AM
I've been careful to avoid watching uncomfortable films with the parents,but when I went for a screening of Antichrist in Melbourne,a family of 4 came in with plates of sushi,popcorn and a glass of wine each.
At first they all giggled awkwardly,but the dreadful scene with the scissors they all ran out sans food or drink.
Posted by: nikolai at September 8, 2010 3:04 AM
Haha, I remember staying at my grandma´s place when I was about 6. The blue Lagoon was announced on TV for the evening and I asked her what it was. Her answer: "It is nothing. There are some people who like to watch things like that."
The most enjoyable movie watching experience I ever had with my dad was The Big Lebowski. But that may just be due to the fact that it´s the best movie ever made. It´s a fact, go look it up.
Posted by: The Mudshark at September 8, 2010 7:20 AM
Last House on the Left, the original, I do not know about the remake.
That was an awkward evening.
Posted by: Zarq at September 8, 2010 8:08 AM
Meet The Parents. At my relatives. In New England. Who seem to be the inspiration for that family.
Posted by: Kultkaffee at September 8, 2010 8:19 AM
Watched Crank with my grandma. Talk about awkward. But I still enjoyed the movie.
Posted by: lemps at September 8, 2010 9:56 AM
Maureen, I saw Burn After Reading with my dad, and I had to explain to him what that wedge pillow that Clooney kept dragging around was for. Awkward...
Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at September 8, 2010 9:56 AM
@Finn The Postman Always Rings Twice (the Jack Nicholson/Jessica Lange version) full frontal nudity and masturbation -- awkward.
I was just out of the Marines, so maybe 22, and watched it with Mom, who liked the original. Slightly uncomfortable when what began as a rape scene in the middle of the bread dough ended with Jessica Lange pushing the dough out of the way and demanding "Come on!"
Mom said: "Gee, I don't remember the other version having that."
Posted by: Walter at September 8, 2010 10:13 AM
"Hard to Swallow" and "Cafe Flesh." Boy, that was an awkward double feature, for all sorts of reasons.
Posted by: Slash at September 8, 2010 11:00 AM
Watched Monster's Ball with my dad. That sex scene. Does. Not. END.
Posted by: Even Stevens at September 8, 2010 1:04 PM
There is a whole list of movies I would not watch with my parents but let us focus on the one movie I did watch with my parents "Top Gun". Remember the love scene with Tom Cruise and the flight instructor lady? They kiss and there is string of saliva that links them together even after they have separated their mouths. Longest love scene ever.
Posted by: coco at September 8, 2010 10:23 PM
I will never forget when my dad and I were watching the Oscars and he proclaimed he wanted to watch The Piano. Well, thank gawd for At the Movies, I was not going to go down that road. I was conveniently "busy" when my dad rented it. My unknowing brother on the other hand sat through The Piano with both my mom and dad. They all looked shell-shocked afterwards.
Posted by: L at September 9, 2010 12:24 AM
what about watching lesbo scenes in MULLHOLAND DRIVE while your mother is around (TWICE!)
Posted by: james at September 9, 2010 12:33 AM
When I was a junior in high school in the late 80's my parents heard that it was a good idea to sit down with your child and watch a nice relaxing movie with your kid the night before the SAT's... So we did this and they chose Pink Flamingo by John Waters. The one scene that stuck with me is when the guy has sex with a girl and squishes a live chicken between them... while be watched by someone else...
Thanks mom... my fuckin SAT's ruined and the start of a shit load of therapy!
Posted by: El L Cool J at September 9, 2010 7:06 AM
SHORTBUS is by far worse than anything else mentioned here!
How the hell did I not choose a better movie to see with my mom - mere weeks before heading off to college for the first time - than Threesome?
Posted by: praxibetel ix at September 9, 2010 4:41 PM
Story Telling (Solondz)--the first part, with Selma Blair.
Posted by: joeff at September 10, 2010 1:53 AM
Really. I guess it depends on ones parents. I saw Clerks II with my mum and step-dad, and we all laughed heartily during the entirety of the film. In point of fact, they had seen it before and were shocked that I had not, so they both insisted we all watch it that very night.
The awkward family movie moment was with a girl friend and her parents and we went to watch Unfaithful. Her parents are a lot more conservative than mine and it made for an incredibly uncomfortable movie viewing experience.
Posted by: Morgan Lefai at September 10, 2010 2:58 AM
Definitely saw a number of those in the theater with my parents. Or at least my mom.
Posted by: DominaNefret at September 10, 2010 3:14 AM
Saw Secretary with my mom actually. Awkward, but managable (it helped that she loved it). Shortbus would be an ordeal though.
The General's Daughter. With my Dad. I was 18. Awkward.
Posted by: Nikkers at September 13, 2010 11:29 AM
SHOWGIRLS. No one should watch Elizabeth Berkeley lick a stripper pole or have epileptic sex with Kyle MacLauchlin in a swimming pool with their parents.
Posted by: Brent at December 18, 2011 10:00 PM
Vanilla sky with my grandmother and dad... O my garsh Tom cruise tries to smother Cameron Diaz in a nightmare during rough sex... Gram thought it was a romantic comedy and my dad did not do his homework to see if that was true.
Posted by: Allison at December 18, 2011 10:02 PM
Cronenberg's Crash is a bad idea too. I didn't watch it with my parents, but sitting through it with my vanilla boyfriend was pretty bad too.
Also, my big, gay, bear of a dad really likes making me sit through some seriously terrible gay films. The ones with poor production values and B-listers you wouldn't be interested in seeing nekkid on a good day, forget about trying to sit through it with your dad...
Posted by: JenVegas at December 18, 2011 10:05 PM
"Bruno...
I would especially not recommend this to your parents on the same weekend you come out of them."
Um... what?
Eww?
Posted by: Scott at December 18, 2011 10:09 PM
We always thought the worst movie experience was when my brother brought home a screener of 8MM. Then my brother saw Happiness with my mom. They both liked Welcome to the Dollhouse and had no clue about what the movie was about.
It can still cause my brother to shudder when that's mentioned. Not to mention he hasn't had a tuna fish sammich ever since. And who doesn't like a good tuna fish sammich?
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Posted by: wedding at December 18, 2011 10:45 PM
Never watch Closer with Parents or your friends parents in the same room. EVER.
Regarding, Boogie Nights - I'd say the seen where Juliane Moore wants Mark Wahlberg to cum inside her is a bit more uncomfortable.
Posted by: Torgotronic at December 18, 2011 11:20 PM
Watching Black Swan sitting next to my mother was fairly scarring.
During the lesbian scene, she turned to me and whispered, "I think I'm gonna lose it if she wipes her mouth."
I believe I launched myself out of my chair to block her view of the mom's hand getting smashed in the door.
It was funnily awful.
Posted by: linny at December 18, 2011 11:52 PM
I would sooner fuck Jason Statham myself than watch any of his movies, but that's just me, because I'm trampy.
Posted by: Jerry at December 18, 2011 11:57 PM
Oh, and I forgot the contribution: Miranda July's Me and You and Everyone We Know. Did we all forget:
))>(( ?
I mean, okay, it was five years after Requiem for a Dream, but it was a damn imaginative use of ass-to-ass July came up with there.
Posted by: Jerry at December 19, 2011 12:01 AM
Sadly, I've seen the last two movies on this list with my parents, Clerks 2 with Mom, and Bruno with Dad.
Bruno's probably the worst film of the decade, and I'll never forgive Sacha Baron Cohen for inflicting that atrocity on the world.
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Posted by: kengao46 at December 19, 2011 12:47 AM
Oooh I got one: Brokeback Mountain. With my dad, specifically. He's such a disgusting homophobe sometimes, I think he made a bunch of stupid horrible jokes just at the trailers and whenever the subject came up. I love my dad but sometimes he grosses me out.
Posted by: figgy at September 7, 2010 6:21 PM
There's no amount of toleration for homosexuality anyone could have to make watching Brokeback Mountain with their parents not awkward.
Posted by: Devil Child at December 19, 2011 12:51 AM
My mom and I watched Wings of the Dove together when I was about ten years old, and The Fisher King when I was like six. No wonder I turned out this way.
Posted by: Lucas at December 19, 2011 1:29 AM
I saw Secretary, Boogie Nights, Blue Velvet, Pulp Fiction, and Cruel Intentions with my parents. It was no big deal in my household. My mom used to enjoy Oz and she didn't care for Unfaithful not because of the sex, but because it just plain sucked. Watching Happiness with my friends earlier this year however... I don't think there's really a 'right' person you can watch that movie with. It was the most uncomfortable I've ever seen them look when watching a movie before. This was the same group that watched a volume of Faces Of Death without being bothered.
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9 to 5 - days in porn
Posted by: no at December 19, 2011 3:44 AM
There are many potential candidates, but I would say Bad Lieutenant is a good one. "Show me how you suck a cock."
Posted by: Qualtinger at December 19, 2011 7:46 AM
Oh lord, I watched Bruno with my parents. So super uncomfortable. My dad laughed, my mom was horrified. I died a l little that day.
Posted by: Nimue at December 19, 2011 8:20 AM
HA! I just realized already told that story a year ago. Second comment. Now I really feel like the circle is complete with you all. I am starting to repeat myself. I am my mother. Time to go out and get more stories.
Posted by: Nimue at December 19, 2011 8:22 AM
Cement Garden In the Realm of the Senses Harold & Maude
Posted by: R Hookup at December 19, 2011 8:34 AM
My parents are pretty open so most movies aren't that awkward. However, watching Closer in the theater with my mom and little sister was rough.
And the first episode of Sex and the City I watched with both my parents was Funky Spunk. *shudder*
Posted by: PerpetualIntern at December 19, 2011 10:43 AM
My husband and I were visiting my parents and watched the first episode of Rome with them. Between the full frontal nudity, the graphic sex scene, and all the references to sex, it made for an uncomfortable Sunday night. It was years ago, and my hub still talks about it.
Posted by: miss kate at December 19, 2011 11:03 AM
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with "Black Swan." Luckily, I didn't watch it with my parents, but I remember sitting in the theatre thinking, "Holy crap, I must never let my parents watch this."
Posted by: vdub at December 19, 2011 11:25 AM
"Shame"
Posted by: lillie at December 19, 2011 11:53 AM
Nobody's mentioned OLDBOY?!? Are you all waiting until Spike Lee remakes it?!? Hachi machi, that should be number one with a hammer! Or maybe you should put that on the inevitable "Movies you should never, ever watch with your kids" list... Either way, great movie, but they should have a warning label, as a public service...
Posted by: Leroy Grey at December 19, 2011 12:54 PM
I saw a Paul Verhoeven movie, in Dutch, called The Fourth Man with my dad when I was 12, I believe. Graphic sex, graphic gay sex, masturbation, eyeballs flying out, penises cut off with scissors... Yeah, it was awesome...ly awkward.
(My dad didn't really give a shit, honestly. I just felt bad for him because people were giving him the stink-eye when the lights went up and we were leaving the theater. But I was the one who suggested going to the movie. I can't remember how I found out about it, or why I wanted to see it. Ah, memriez...)
Posted by: MM at December 19, 2011 1:41 PM
"Police Academy" with my grandparents when I was 14 or so. During the blowjob under the podium scene, I hear Grandma say, "Gee ... I wonder what SHE's doing." I glance over and they're grinning at each other.
More than 25 years later, I still shudder.
Posted by: Edmond at December 19, 2011 2:18 PM
My dad joined me in watching Kids. I was about 15. How's that for awkward?
Posted by: emo_hobo at December 19, 2011 2:30 PM
Throughout my teenage years my family chose movies as the primary family Friday night bonding time. To date, the worst that I suffered through were (in no particular order: Basic Instinct, 8MM and The Piano...when I last visited, to keep up the tradition we watched Splice. It reminded me why, as soon as I got a car and a social life I was out of there...
Posted by: blondie at December 19, 2011 8:30 PM
Black Swan. Ohhhhh Black Swan. Saw it with my dad. Sat through Natalie Portman's masturbation scene, which felt like it went for at least an hour. Then my dad leans over and whispers to me, "This is a good movie!"
Shudder.
Posted by: Bailey at December 19, 2011 9:22 PM
I saw Austin Powers with my folks and siblings when I was a kid. I remember asking my dad, what's a mojo and also shagging? The whole movie is full of sexual innuendos but they never really bothered me. Lots of children in the theater enjoyed the scene where Dr. Evil's penis-shaped rocket launched into space.
I saw Lust, Caution and Brokeback with my mother. Mom's Taiwanese and would love to see anything Ang Lee. She thought Lust... was historical espionage drama and insisted on seeing it, even if I warned her of the explicit scenes. I love it when mom pretends to do something else during the awkward scenes, like checking her cellphone or opening her purse as if looking for the keys.
Posted by: Adrien at December 20, 2011 12:40 AM
Watched "Rules of Attraction" With Dad and an old girlfriend. Extremely awkward when he narrates the sex while sober scene, Didnt look over at him once and I am pretty sure the girl I was dating was horrified with him in the room. he just sat down five minutes in and was like "What are we watching" and then didnt leave. So awkward. He is cool as hell. But afterwards he just stands up and says, "Well, that was disturbing." A then he left.
Posted by: Munnster at December 20, 2011 3:40 AM
I have a rather sadistic friend with a taste for strange movies, and one night she produced 'A Serbian Film'.
Previously, Oldboy had been my bar for weirdness, but Serbian left it in the dust. It was grotesque in every way.
Posted by: Sandrine at December 20, 2011 5:24 AM
My Dad was super cool, he would bring us to Brue Lee film fests. But when I was 13 and my brother was 11 (and holy crap my dad was younger than I am now) he took us to Excalibur. No one knew where to look during the rape.
When I was growing up, I was uncomfortable watching anything involving involving beautiful women with my parents. But perhaps the king-mother of uncomfortability as a child...Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I credit this film with making me fall in love with Detective Noir, as making me squirm anytime Jessica Rabbit was involved and my parents were in the room.
Flipping this subject to the inverse polarity...a movie I'll always be up for watching with my family is History of the World Part I. My father and I will not only quote the shit out of the whole film, but we'll always sing along to The Inquisition. Porky's also falls into this category, because when your grandparents join in on the chorus of laughter during the scene in the principal's office, you know you've got a cool family.
I went to Bruno with my fiance and my mom for a 10:30am show the day it opened.
Thank god my fiance sat in between us.
We all laughed at the penis swinging around...my mom probably laughed the hardest.
A truly memorable moment in my life...given the context.
Posted by: Larry at December 20, 2011 1:17 PM
Knight Moves. There's a scene where the guy goes down on a woman and you see a fair bit of it. Definitely awkward when I saw it with my mom looking for colleges!!
Posted by: ArT at December 20, 2011 2:07 PM
I watched Clerks 2 and all the other Jay & Silent Bob films with my mom, and she didn't have to be explained that it had a lot of heart. She figured it out by herself.
Posted by: John at December 21, 2011 4:25 AM
My sister rented Billy Madison once to watch with the family. You know the scene where the teacher says "sixty-nine" for some reason and Adam Sandler is the only one who laughs?
My mother said, "Why is that funny?"
...dead silence from the rest of us.
Posted by: minorblue at December 22, 2011 6:20 PM
Incredible, pretty much all I could claim is actually just wow! Impressive internet site, would have cost a several hours right? I started to make my internet site, but im still inexperienced and it's all consuming some time.
Agreed on "A Serbian film". While I did enjoy this movie more than I can ever rationalize (I liked it for christ's sake), no one should ever watch it with anyone. Too much weirdness.
Nice list, but I'd also like to recommend Bad Boy Bubby or anything with Vincent Gallo in it. Shudder.