Spoilers Abound: The 10 Television Characters We'll Miss the Most This Fall
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Spoilers Abound: The 10 Television Characters We'll Miss the Most This Fall

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | August 20, 2013 | Comments ()

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Spoiler’s for “Boardwalk Empire,” “Sons of Anarchy,” and “The Walking Dead,” if you’re not caught up.

James Van Der Beek — So long The B—— from Apt. 23. It was not a great show, but it was an amusing one, and we will miss seeing James Van Der Beek’s attempt at a career comeback both within the show and outside of it. YOU DESERVED TO WIN DANCING WITH THE STARS, BEEKS!


Owen Sleater — His death last season crushed me into little bitty pieces, and I have no idea how Margaret is going to go on without him. You deserved better than spending your afterlife lining a wooden crate.


Opie Winston — We had most of the fifth season of “Sons of Anarchy” to adjust, but losing the show’s best and most likable character has weighed down a drama that has already gotten too heavy. This show used to have some heart and an occasional dose of humor, and now without Opie, all it has is violence and Jax’s nose flares.


Gyp Rosetti — Gyp’s terrible outbursts, and his irrational, tyrannical, temperamental need to kill for absolutely no reason (not to mention his weird sexual fetishes) will be sorely missed this fall. There are calculating monsters, and then there are those who just f**king kill because they feel like it, and the latter always seems so much more unpredictably dangerous.


Merle Dixon — Merle was a racist, good-for-nothing piece of sh*t, but hell if he wasn’t one of the most entertaining characters on television. There was just something about Merle that we kind of wanted to root for, despite everything our brains was telling us.


Walter Bishop — It was “Fringe’s” time to go, and the final season went out with something of a thud, but the kooky Walter Bishop was often the best reason to turn on your television’s on a Friday night. The man loved a good snack, and that’s something missing in our television characters.


Mark Cyr — Jason Ritter has moved on to another sitcom, where he’ll be dating Rory Gilmore instead of Lorelai, which is sad because of all the good people on “Parenthood,” Mark may have been the best. He deserved better than Sarah Braverman, although Sarah’s consolation prize, Ray Romano’s Hank, ain’t so bad.


Jim and Pam — Oh, I know the end of “The Office” was long overdue, but after spending nine years with Jim and Pam, and seeing their romance turn into marriage and kids and a little suburban malaise, there will still be a certain lack on Thursday nights. I don’t want “The Office” to return, in any way, but it would be nice if someone kept tabs on Jim and Pam for us.


The Entire Cast of “Happy Endings” — TOO SOON. I will miss Jane’s acerbic, mean-spirited wit; I will miss Max’s gay stereotype subversions (and his mean-spirited wit); I will miss Penny’s terrible love life (and her mean-spirited wit); I will miss Brad’s bromance with Max (although, not so much either his high-pitched catch phrases or his baby talk with Jane); I will miss Dave’s food truck; but most of all, I will miss Alex, who had proven herself to be one of the least likely and most enjoyable sitcom actresses on television.


Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy — For the first time since 2006 (except for that year that Tina Fey’s pregnancy pushed the debut to the winter), our fall will not have Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy in it, and their endlessly amusing platonic relationship, their co-dependence, their dysfunctional employees, Tracy Jordan’s hijinx, and the most illuminating, hilarious perspective on a female in the workplace on television since Mary Tyler Moore. Hurry back, Tina Fey. Television needs more of you.


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